Friday March 30, 2012
This is a neat feature that I learned from Single Dad Laughing. Each day when he publishes, at the top of his blog is the feature "500 Posts Ago". It's a flashback to posts that were so long ago, and it breathes new life into the blog.
So, I thought I would start with my most popular posts, and expand on them. I am now on Twitter (@Rairighk) and I share my blog posts with the rest of the world that can't see them on Facebook. This is in an effort to grow my blog and get it out there. Someday, maybe it will be in the right hands and go further than just my own computer screen!
103 posts ago I wrote about Postpartum Depression (PPD), and gave a shortened version of what we went through (you can read it here). This was my very first blog post and at the time I wrote it, my youngest baby was 18 months old. I was still experiencing symptoms, I was seeing a therapist weekly and I was on antidepressants.
Since that time, I have learned so much about PPD and how to overcome it. I can honestly say that PPD has affected me permanently - by that I mean that while I don't still suffer from symptoms directly, it has forever altered how I view motherhood.
Whether that was my choice to allow PPD to do that, or it happened naturally, I feel that the PPD I experienced after the birth of my first daughter was mis-diagnosed, and not treated properly.
The world of Postpartum Depression is broad, and each woman who suffers from it experiences a variance of symptoms. While traumatic for me, I consider mine on the minor side.
I have since learned more about not only PPD, but Postpartum Psychosis (PPSD) and other disorders that sway to the extreme side of instability after having a baby.
Many women are ashamed of not feeling like the mother that their friends, neighbors, family and society are, or tell them they should be. It is a haunting disease and unless you or someone you know has experienced it, you could never possibly understand.
If you or someone you know are experiencing PPD or PPSD, please reach out. Start with your doctor. Make sure you tell your spouse, your best friend, your Mom. I know it's hard to talk about, it's SO hard to explain the feelings that you are experiencing, but you cannot remain silent.
There is so much joy and life to live with your baby, your spouse, your other children and this disease will eat you alive. If you do not get the support you need from your doctor, your family or your friends, keep searching. Find the strength to keep going every day - and keep searching for an out. Below are a couple of resources that may help point you in the right direction:
The Online PPMD Support Group - this page has a link to live support, and they will search for support in your area, free of charge. There is also a crisis hotline listed on this page.
Postpartum Support International - another easy to maneuver website with links to support in your area, and a network of women having the same experiences.
Thank you for reading (again). I am thankful that I am able to share my experiences - it has taken a long time for me to come to grips with my "new" life as a mother. Here's another link to Flashbacks To Losing It. If it helps just one new mother, then my goal was accomplished.
Please share this post in your circles. Statistics show that 1 in 8 new mothers experience some form of PPD or PPSD. Motherhood is such an amazing miracle and gift from our Creator. This disease robs all of us from experiencing that joy - so hopefully together we can heal.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Skittles For Lunch (86/366)
Thursday March 29, 2012
I've never professed to be a perfect mom - in fact, I'm super-far from it!
Some days I do my best...
Others, I am a wee bit of a slacker.
Like today.
We got up this morning and got ready for Hannah to head to school. When she got on the bus (an accident-free journey today, unlike yesterday), I sat down to inhale a cup of coffee or two.
Ava and I headed out to "The Car Store", our local bodyshop for a long overdue oil change.
An hour later, we were headed to the grocery store.
Another hour later, we were headed home. I could've gone for McDonald's for lunch, but Pink Slime isn't on the menu today.
I figured we would make sandwiches or something at home before I put Ava down for her nap.
While my phone wouldn't stop ringing, I ended up being in one conversation or another for over an hour. At this time, it was 12:30.
The entire time I was yacking away on the phone, Ava was happily seated on the living room floor eating a bag of Skittles that I had bought her in the grocery checkout lane to keep her content - she had been getting restless in the store as her lunch and naptimes were drawing ever near.
I realized at this point I had 3 hours until we needed to leave to pick Hannah up and head to dance class.
"If I feed her lunch now," I thought, "It will be at least an hour before she's done eating, and I have to wake her by 3 so we can leave by 3:30..."
So I dropped the gauntlet.
And for the next 10 minutes I tried convincing her that naps were good, that I hate taking naps too, that I understand her plight...
As I laid her in bed, she was still finishing the last two Skittles. She washed them down with her sippy cup of ice water, I kissed her goodnight and left the room.
No, I don't have a sinking feeling in my gut because I didn't feed my kid lunch today.
No, I don't care that this one time she went down for a nap with skittles on her teeth.
Ava is the least hungry kid that I've ever known. She never asks for food. Most other days, we eat as healthy and balanced as our budget will provide. But yes, sometimes us girls have cereal for dinner.
So what?!
It is what it is. Sometimes that happens. I'm not sorry.
Ava is no worse for the wear because she didn't get a big balanced meal for lunch today. And it will most likely happen many more times in the years to come.
I did it.
You did it.
I'm alive.
You're alive.
I think sometimes we as parents put waaaaaay too much of society's pressure on ourselves to consistently give the BEST ALL OF THE TIME.
I think we forget to live.
I think we get a little farther away from reality.
Yes, most of the time our children (and ourselves) need healthy balanced meals, they need strict guidelines from their parents, they need rules, they need structure.
But seriously, that's NO FUN.
So, let's relax a little. No, I'm not suggesting that you give your kid Skittles for lunch any day. That's up to you.
But I am suggesting that we just CHILL.
Don't you think better kids come from chill parents than super uptight-rulesy ones?
I can't wait to send my beautiful princesses next door to roll in the mud with those 4 roudy neighbor boys.
I will be right there filming and taking pictures - laughing right along with them.
(And then I'll go home and cry about the fact that their most mud-worthy playclothes are still in stellar condition, and I now have to throw them away). But no one will see that!
I'm thankful for the opportunity to NOT take life so seriously sometimes.
It's really fun. You should try it!
I've never professed to be a perfect mom - in fact, I'm super-far from it!
Some days I do my best...
Others, I am a wee bit of a slacker.
Like today.
We got up this morning and got ready for Hannah to head to school. When she got on the bus (an accident-free journey today, unlike yesterday), I sat down to inhale a cup of coffee or two.
Ava and I headed out to "The Car Store", our local bodyshop for a long overdue oil change.
An hour later, we were headed to the grocery store.
Another hour later, we were headed home. I could've gone for McDonald's for lunch, but Pink Slime isn't on the menu today.
I figured we would make sandwiches or something at home before I put Ava down for her nap.
While my phone wouldn't stop ringing, I ended up being in one conversation or another for over an hour. At this time, it was 12:30.
The entire time I was yacking away on the phone, Ava was happily seated on the living room floor eating a bag of Skittles that I had bought her in the grocery checkout lane to keep her content - she had been getting restless in the store as her lunch and naptimes were drawing ever near.
I realized at this point I had 3 hours until we needed to leave to pick Hannah up and head to dance class.
"If I feed her lunch now," I thought, "It will be at least an hour before she's done eating, and I have to wake her by 3 so we can leave by 3:30..."
So I dropped the gauntlet.
And for the next 10 minutes I tried convincing her that naps were good, that I hate taking naps too, that I understand her plight...
As I laid her in bed, she was still finishing the last two Skittles. She washed them down with her sippy cup of ice water, I kissed her goodnight and left the room.
No, I don't have a sinking feeling in my gut because I didn't feed my kid lunch today.
No, I don't care that this one time she went down for a nap with skittles on her teeth.
Ava is the least hungry kid that I've ever known. She never asks for food. Most other days, we eat as healthy and balanced as our budget will provide. But yes, sometimes us girls have cereal for dinner.
So what?!
It is what it is. Sometimes that happens. I'm not sorry.
Ava is no worse for the wear because she didn't get a big balanced meal for lunch today. And it will most likely happen many more times in the years to come.
I did it.
You did it.
I'm alive.
You're alive.
I think sometimes we as parents put waaaaaay too much of society's pressure on ourselves to consistently give the BEST ALL OF THE TIME.
I think we forget to live.
I think we get a little farther away from reality.
Yes, most of the time our children (and ourselves) need healthy balanced meals, they need strict guidelines from their parents, they need rules, they need structure.
But seriously, that's NO FUN.
So, let's relax a little. No, I'm not suggesting that you give your kid Skittles for lunch any day. That's up to you.
But I am suggesting that we just CHILL.
Don't you think better kids come from chill parents than super uptight-rulesy ones?
I can't wait to send my beautiful princesses next door to roll in the mud with those 4 roudy neighbor boys.
I will be right there filming and taking pictures - laughing right along with them.
(And then I'll go home and cry about the fact that their most mud-worthy playclothes are still in stellar condition, and I now have to throw them away). But no one will see that!
I'm thankful for the opportunity to NOT take life so seriously sometimes.
It's really fun. You should try it!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
How Precious Life Is (85/366)
Wednesday March 28, 2012
BIG scare today!
After I got Hannah on the bus, I sat in bed drinking a cup of coffee, watching The Today Show. My phone rang around 8:50 AM, and when I looked at the caller ID, it was Hannah's school.
My first thought was oh, geez, she got bus-sick again! So, when I answered, an automated message said the following:
"Bus #xx has been involved in a traffic accident. All students and the bus driver are unharmed. More details to come later."
Ummm, WHAT?!
My heart leaped into my throat. My first instinct was to totally FREAK OUT! So, I called my husband and the first words I said to him (frantically) were, "Ok, just listen to what I tell you then tell me to calm down and then tell me what to do."
He listened patiently, and when I was finished with the story, he told me to calm down and call the school. So I did.
I was told that there would be a counselor at the school to meet the kids when they got off the bus that picked them up from the accident, and that the school would contact any individual parents of children that were having a particularly hard time.
RED FLAG!! REALLY?! If it was a simple accident/fender bender, why would the kids need a counselor?
So I called my neighbor who has kids that ride the bus with Hannah. I assumed she would know. She always knows. And she usually has TONS of details.
She didn't know.
Between her phone calls and mine, we figured out what happened.
The bus stopped 1/4 mile from my house to pick up 2 kids. Just before the bus driver locked the bus brakes to stop the bus and open the door, a car traveling at full speed (55-60 mph) didn't see the bus and plowed into the back of it.
The car was driven by a 19 year old girl and she was the only passenger. I don't know what she was doing, there were no skid marks indicating she tried to stop, and the entire front end of the passenger side of her car was underneath the bus.
Had the bus not been pulled to the side of the road, she would have been decapitated.
Had she been positioned 6 inches more to the right on the road, she would have been decapitated.
(Photos Courtesty of woodtv.com)
As it turns out, she jumped out of her car and ran through the yard where the accident took place. She was bloody from cuts, her arm was clearly broken and her neck was already swollen from what appeared to be some severe whiplash. She was concerned about how her dad would react to her having wrecked the car. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one and say she was in shock - I'd like to think she was horrified that she hit a bus-full of young elementary school students, and not at all worried about her car.
The bus driver said that had she locked the bus brakes, most or all of the kids on board would have sustained pretty serious injuries. They would have been thrown about the bus like marbles in a bag. Instead, the kids did all jerk forward and hit their faces or their heads on the seats in front of each one them.
Had the driver of the car swerved to the left to miss the bus, she would have hit an oncoming car.
Had she swerved to the right to miss the bus, she would have run over the 2 kids waiting to board the bus.
I called Hannah's teacher and spoke with her just after Hannah got to school. She was a little shaken up, but okay. I figured if I went to the school to see her, she would have fallen apart. So, I just asked her teacher to keep an eye on her and if there were any problems that she call me right away.
As the morning went on, I couldn't stand the fact that I hadn't laid hands or eyes on my sweet baby girl. At Hannah's lunch time, Ava and I made a trip to the school to see her.
All of the kids swarmed us. I got hugs from at least half of Hannah's classmates. Ava was poked, prodded, tickled, touched and hugged on too. And when I saw Hannah, I fell apart. Not Hannah - she was strong as a rock, seemingly unaffected by what had happened.
Of course, I couldn't let her see me fall apart, so I quickly composed myself and just hugged her.
I know, I know, given that everyone was okay I should have been a little less emotional about the whole thing. But with all of the phone calls, the texts, the calls to school, the bus garage, my husband, my mom and mother in law, etc. I was so worked up and just needed to SEE her. I just needed to see that she was handling what happened alright. It was her first vehicle accident, and I'm sure seeing the other car trapped under the bus, and seeing the young girl bloody and running through our neighbor's yard was somewhat traumatic.
But she was fine. She was happy to see her sissy and me, and she was fine.
I can't say that I've ever experienced the panic/fear/worry/concern/eager/curious emotions that I felt all at once today wondering if Hannah was alright. I know the phone call said there were no injuries, but for a 6 year old something like that is scary!
The Lord was looking out for the kids on the bus, the bus driver, my neighbor's kids waiting on the lawn to board the bus and the driver of that car. There were angels on our road today.
In a split second, life can change. So many people have experienced that already in their lives. Today, I got a small snippet.
I am done running the scenarios through my head.
I am just thankful that it turned out the way it did.
And I will hug my kids a little tighter tonight.
BIG scare today!
After I got Hannah on the bus, I sat in bed drinking a cup of coffee, watching The Today Show. My phone rang around 8:50 AM, and when I looked at the caller ID, it was Hannah's school.
My first thought was oh, geez, she got bus-sick again! So, when I answered, an automated message said the following:
"Bus #xx has been involved in a traffic accident. All students and the bus driver are unharmed. More details to come later."
Ummm, WHAT?!
My heart leaped into my throat. My first instinct was to totally FREAK OUT! So, I called my husband and the first words I said to him (frantically) were, "Ok, just listen to what I tell you then tell me to calm down and then tell me what to do."
He listened patiently, and when I was finished with the story, he told me to calm down and call the school. So I did.
I was told that there would be a counselor at the school to meet the kids when they got off the bus that picked them up from the accident, and that the school would contact any individual parents of children that were having a particularly hard time.
RED FLAG!! REALLY?! If it was a simple accident/fender bender, why would the kids need a counselor?
So I called my neighbor who has kids that ride the bus with Hannah. I assumed she would know. She always knows. And she usually has TONS of details.
She didn't know.
Between her phone calls and mine, we figured out what happened.
The bus stopped 1/4 mile from my house to pick up 2 kids. Just before the bus driver locked the bus brakes to stop the bus and open the door, a car traveling at full speed (55-60 mph) didn't see the bus and plowed into the back of it.
The car was driven by a 19 year old girl and she was the only passenger. I don't know what she was doing, there were no skid marks indicating she tried to stop, and the entire front end of the passenger side of her car was underneath the bus.
Had the bus not been pulled to the side of the road, she would have been decapitated.
Had she been positioned 6 inches more to the right on the road, she would have been decapitated.
(Photos Courtesty of woodtv.com)
As it turns out, she jumped out of her car and ran through the yard where the accident took place. She was bloody from cuts, her arm was clearly broken and her neck was already swollen from what appeared to be some severe whiplash. She was concerned about how her dad would react to her having wrecked the car. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt on this one and say she was in shock - I'd like to think she was horrified that she hit a bus-full of young elementary school students, and not at all worried about her car.
The bus driver said that had she locked the bus brakes, most or all of the kids on board would have sustained pretty serious injuries. They would have been thrown about the bus like marbles in a bag. Instead, the kids did all jerk forward and hit their faces or their heads on the seats in front of each one them.
Had the driver of the car swerved to the left to miss the bus, she would have hit an oncoming car.
Had she swerved to the right to miss the bus, she would have run over the 2 kids waiting to board the bus.
I called Hannah's teacher and spoke with her just after Hannah got to school. She was a little shaken up, but okay. I figured if I went to the school to see her, she would have fallen apart. So, I just asked her teacher to keep an eye on her and if there were any problems that she call me right away.
As the morning went on, I couldn't stand the fact that I hadn't laid hands or eyes on my sweet baby girl. At Hannah's lunch time, Ava and I made a trip to the school to see her.
All of the kids swarmed us. I got hugs from at least half of Hannah's classmates. Ava was poked, prodded, tickled, touched and hugged on too. And when I saw Hannah, I fell apart. Not Hannah - she was strong as a rock, seemingly unaffected by what had happened.
Of course, I couldn't let her see me fall apart, so I quickly composed myself and just hugged her.
I know, I know, given that everyone was okay I should have been a little less emotional about the whole thing. But with all of the phone calls, the texts, the calls to school, the bus garage, my husband, my mom and mother in law, etc. I was so worked up and just needed to SEE her. I just needed to see that she was handling what happened alright. It was her first vehicle accident, and I'm sure seeing the other car trapped under the bus, and seeing the young girl bloody and running through our neighbor's yard was somewhat traumatic.
But she was fine. She was happy to see her sissy and me, and she was fine.
I can't say that I've ever experienced the panic/fear/worry/concern/eager/curious emotions that I felt all at once today wondering if Hannah was alright. I know the phone call said there were no injuries, but for a 6 year old something like that is scary!
The Lord was looking out for the kids on the bus, the bus driver, my neighbor's kids waiting on the lawn to board the bus and the driver of that car. There were angels on our road today.
In a split second, life can change. So many people have experienced that already in their lives. Today, I got a small snippet.
I am done running the scenarios through my head.
I am just thankful that it turned out the way it did.
And I will hug my kids a little tighter tonight.
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