Nothing Short of a Miracle

Monday June 3, 2013

Well, she made it.

She made it through the diagnosis of her brain tumor.

She made it through a heart attack.

She made it through brain surgery to remove a poisonous tumor.

We learned on Friday that the tumor was removed.  We were told that it was completely removed.  The physician that told us this little tidbit was not the actual surgeon that performed the surgery.  It was one of his colleagues.

Shortly after we received this news, the surgeon came in and elaborated.

Maybe we were all just high on the news that the tumor was gone.  Maybe we were just so incredibly hopeful that this was over.

I know we weren't naive.  I know we knew better.

But the news he delivered was crushing... and I think we all knew it was coming sooner or later.

Some preliminary tests had come back.  Yes, the tumor was removed ("grossly", meaning most of it) - but the cancer was not.  Her brain is still littered with cancer cells.

He said it.  That word. 

Cancer.  It was true.

Grade 4 Glioblastoma.

You can find out more about what a Glioblastoma is on the American Brain Tumor Association's website.  I set that link to take you right to the glioblasotma page.

It's gnarly.  Nasty.  And it looks really bad in black & white.

But we have to remember that every person is different.  Every person fights differently.  There are statistics, and there are miracles.  In my opinion, Mom's story is already nothing short of a miracle.

Immediately following her surgery, it was so hard to look at her.  She ate like a little bird.  She could barely speak.  She could barely open her eyes. 

We were all waiting in such anticipation to see how she was.  Did she know who we were?  Did she remember what she was doing here? 

By the late afternoon / evening the day of surgery, she was so exhausted and on regular doses of pain meds that all she did was sleep.
And we were still waiting to see.

The next day, she progressed more.  Physical Therapists came to assist her with simple things.  They asked her questions about how she felt, what was missing, what was difficult.

By the second day after surgery, she was carrying on full conversations.  Reminiscing back 25-30 years.

But when the Therapist asked her what the date was, she couldn't answer.  When asked what month it was, she couldn't answer.  When asked what year it was, she immediately said 2013.  Yay! 

She could name every person that was in the room with no problem.  She could feed herself with ease.  However, reaching for things and picking them up was quite a task.

Mom described it as though you were standing in front of a mirror.  There's a tube of chapstick on the counter and you reach for it, but you have to use the mirror to guide you.  Naturally, you may tend to go to one side or another of the item.  Or, you may think it's farther away than it really is.  But you can ONLY use the mirror to find it.  You cannot take your eyes away and see the item in its real position.

And she had no peripheral vision on her right side.  You had to pretty much be directly in front of her for her to see you.

So, her vision is a little off.

She could not stand on both feet with her eyes closed.  She would fall over.

She could not walk - anywhere - without assitance and holding onto the wall for guidance.

She could touch her nose, and then reach out and touch a hand in front of her with her eyes closed.

She could not do "flap jacks" with her hand.  Take one hand and hold it out palm up.  Take the other hand and flip flop it on top of the other - back & forth.  She could not do that.

She could not complete certain sentences using proper English.  She forgot which words went together to complete a sentence.

She had a hard time reading (her dinner menu, for example) and having a picture in her mind of what she was reading.  Immediate memory was not clear.

At least on this day.

Today, day 3 post-op, those symptoms are already subsiding.  She is talking on the phone, walking through the house mostly without assistance.  She is reading better.  Her sentences are more accurate and "normal".  She has her incredible sense of humor back.  She remembers things, stories, people. 

My dad described it as something "amazing" to watch as she continues to get better hour after hour.

This is nothing short of a miracle.

We are celebrating small victories.  And we will be doing this for a long time.  I told my dad on Friday (surgery day) that that was the easy day.  And that was a hard day.  The rehabilitation, chemotherapy, radiation, side effects - and all of things that will occur that we can't even comprehend right now - they're coming.

There was a time recently that I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed - like I would never reach the shore.  My dad asked me, "How do you eat an elephant"?

"One bite at a time".

Well we're going to liken this battle with cancer to eating an elephant (but just a little - obviously cancer is very real, and eating an elephant is just not). 

Both seem humongous.

But taken one step at a time, one bite at a time, when you look back, you realize how far you've come.  It isn't insurmountable. 

I've recently also learned that the medical bills are piling up.  They have insurance, and their yearly out of pocket deductible has already been met.  Their portion of each bill after insurance is in the thousands of dollars.  And it's only the beginning.

I set up a fundraiser for them to help ease the pain of medical bills on top of everything else.  My dad still works a full time job.  They have a full time friend and caretaker who comes to the house every day to help Dianne get around, cook, you name it.  Dad is keeping all the appointments, paperwork, transcripts, physicians (neurology, oncology, cardiac, etc) - everything - straight.

If there was anything I could do to lighten that load I would.  This is Dad's new life now.  As a family, and as a community, this is when we're called to help one another.  Here's a link to the fundraiser page:  Dianne's Battle - A Fighter's Journey With Brain Cancer.  You can go to that page to get updates, donate, comment or leave a message for Dad & Di.  You can give anonymously or not, you can keep your donation amount private.  Donations are received through PayPal, but you can give using PayPal, or any credit / debit card without using PayPal.  Any gift you can give is immensely appreciated - and no gift is too small.  Even if you can't give, please visit the site and share her story.  Share her updates.  Get the word out about Brain Cancer.  You might touch someone who is going through this very thing!  Maybe someone out there will be able to relate or share their story to help Mom through this.

Words cannot express the gratitude we feel from the outpouring of prayers and concern for mom.  I know sometimes Dad is brought to tears from the amazing support they have received.

Anyway, thanks for reading.  There are so many milestones ahead - and I want to share them with you.  So keep coming back.

Let Her Heart Rest

Wednesday May 22, 2013

Well, Mom is home.  She and Dad stepped in the door yesterday morning.  There were no other episodes with her heart and no reoccurance of arythmia.

To be cautious, the cardiologist has recommended that we postpone Mom's brain surgery until next week.

Her heart needs rest.

This is completely understandable, although we were anxious to get as much of the poison out of her brain as possible - as soon as possible.  We, Mom especially, have been awaiting Friday's surgery for three weeks, preparing both physically and emotionally.

But you just can't mess with the heart.

So, we will wait, and she will rest.

I have a correction to my last post as well.  The MRI that she will have just prior to surgery will take place in Novi, where she is having her brain surgery.  I was mistaken when I wrote that she would have the MRI locally, and then have to drive to Novi for surgery.  My apologies.

So, we don't have a definite day or time of the surgery at this point.  Dad was going to call and set that up.

When she got home, he said she was a little "wobbly" and "light headed", which I suppose is to be expected.

I talked with her on the phone for a few (I was on speaker), and she sounded SO much better!  Chipper and happy to be home.  This was all good to me.

Tomorrow, I will be bringing some meals over that were made by some of my friends (and friends of Dad & Di) that will feed them while she is recovering.  Every little bit helps to lighten the load on Dad or friends who are caretaking while she is in recovery at home.  I am incredibly thankful to all of my/our friends and family for their support, prayers and meals.  My heart aches as I think of the long journey we have yet to endure - and I want to do everything for them. 

But I can't.

And it's amazing to me how people - families, friends, acquaintances, communities - pull together to support one another.

So, let's keep it up!  Thank you again, and I'll let you all know when her surgery is next scheduled for and we'll continue to pray that she stays healthy and stable enough to get there this time!

One Day at a Time - An Update On Mom

Monday May 20, 2013

Just got an update from Dad:

"Di is still in the hospital for another 24 for observation.  They now are fairly confident that a vessel spasmed causing the arythmia.  She feels fine, but 48 hours is the time frame of possible reoccurance in this situation.

We now have to report to the (local) hospital on Friday morning at 5:00 am for a MRI prior to surgery.  We still don't know if her surgery will be postponed or not.  The local hospital is talking to the surgeons' office with details.  The local hospital is also taking measures to avoid potponement of Friday's surgery."

Dad is doing such a great job!!  He is informing immediate family of the latest details, and I am enforming everyone else through this outlet.

If you're just getting caught up, you can read the updates on Mom (Dianne) from the beginning.  In Order:

Never Give Up The Fight

It's The Calm

Hope Renewed

A Bump In The Road

It's been just over 3 weeks since we first found out, and what a whirlwind it's been!

I will continue to keep you all updated as things develop.

Our family cannot thank you enough for your continued support and prayers - and we need them to continue!

A Bump In the Road

Ah, Sunday... We had an entire day planned with fun things outside with the girls, a little grocery shopping, maybe some ice cream after dinner...

But something happened.

I got a phone call from my dad around 9:30 in the morning.

Mom (Dianne) had a heart attack this morning.

My knees almost buckled as he proceeded to tell me the few details he could muster.  He said they were still in the ER, and he didn't have many answers yet.

I immediately made arrangements for the girls to head to their Bumpa & Gwi Gwi's for a few hours.  I called both of my brothers to let them know what had happened, and we left for the hospital.

This time seemed different.  My dad seemed a little more "out of it", like he needed me.

When we got to the hospital, I gave hugs and surveyed her well-being.  She seemed ok.  She was unable to move, they were making her lie still until they determined it was okay for her to move or sit up.

I started asking questions.  This is what happened:

Last night she had been suffering from some pretty severe joint pain.  Severe enough that it brought her to tears.  She took some pain meds and went to bed.  When she woke this morning, her knees were still in a lot of pain.

They were drinking coffee this morning and throwing the frisbee for the dog.  Suddenly, Mom said that her chest was starting to hurt.  It got to the point that Dad felt the need to have her checked out by an EMT, so he called their neighbor, who is a firefighter for their city.  When he didn't answer, dad left to go over to his house.  As he walked out the front door, his neighbor was also, coming toward dad's house.  Dad explained what was going on, and the neighbor immediately called it in as a Priority 1. 

When the EMT crew showed up, they checked her out and determined she needed to be taken to the hospital.  They put her in the ambulance, my dad followed, and off they were.

She had just had an EKG this past Tuesday in preparation for her tumor surgery, and was completely cleared for surgery.

But on the way to hospital, she went into v-tach (Ventricular tachycardia - rapid heartbeat) and had to be shocked.

When they got to the hospital, she had many tests.  Of course, my dad was swift about letting them know about her brain tumor, and the upcoming surgery.  That obviously changed their course of treatment for the heart attack.

Initially, they were thinking her brain surgery would have to be postponed, that she would need stints placed in or near her heart and that she had major heart issues that have been overlooked.

However, all of the tests came back normal... boring.

No blockages, no stints, NOTHING.

They feel it was maybe some plaque that had broken loose, got stuck, and passed through.  They're not really sure, because nothing showed up in the tests, but they feel there was a blockage at some point that passed.

We thought maybe the stress on her body from the tumor had contributed to her heart attack.

Either way, they admitted her for the night.  She will be in the hospital until tomorrow.

At this point, we were told no stints are necessary, no heart surgery, Asprin for medication as she can't be on any blood thinners, and her surgery is still on for Friday.

She's a little cranky - understandably, tired and really ready to go home.

We could really use your prayers at this time.  We are hoping for no more hiccups before her tumor surgery.  Please pray for a smooth week.  Please pray for healing and peace for her.

Please pray that my dad continues to be her rock.  Please also pray that he is able to balance this situation, his full time job, the added responsibilities at home - and that he is blessed with the help that he needs right when he needs it.

I thank you for your thoughts and prayers sincerely - we couldn't get through this without them.

This week will be crazy, long, calm, short, whatever... it will just be.  Friday is such a big day - we just want to get her to that point.  Then we will hopefully have more answers, and hopefully have more of an understanding of what we're dealing with.

I'll keep you posted.  And I'll put this post up a couple of times so that everyone who needs or wants to see it can - no matter what time of day it is.

Till next time...