Thursday, July 19, 2012

Seeing Clearly

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart ... He who looks outside, dreams. He who looks inside, awakens."  ~ Carl Jung

As each day passes, and more joy is had between the girls and I, I grow increasingly calm.

Yesterday, we took the day off.  Literally.  

I get so wrapped up in the "big people" stuff, and there's always something going on, something to do, that it's sometime quite difficult to just stop.

So we did.

We got up in the morning, snuggled together, had lunch and spent most of the entire rest of the day outside.

We started in the lake.  The girls swam for about an hour and a half, and then they told me they were COLD.

Yes, cold.

I think the "feels like" temperature yesterday was over 100 degrees, and the lake water felt like a hot tub, so why they were cold I don't know.

So, we headed inside, played Hide-and-Seek and Hot-and-Cold.  We had another snack and went back outside to enjoy the sun.

It wasn't long before the girls were hot again, so off we went back into the water.  The dog loves to play Frisbee, so we wore her out too!

By dinner and bedtime, we were sunned-out and a little cranky.  It was a long, PERFECT day.

I did a lot of watching yesterday.  I watched my kids play and interact with each other.  I watched their eyes as they danced with joy.  I watched their tiny little souls as they swam, splashed and laughed.  And I wasn't just watching.  I was seeing.

I could see that no matter what we go through, we can make the best of any situation, as long as we're together.  The three of us have a bond like no other, and it can never be torn apart.

Never.

I could see, I mean really see, that the kind of love we have is beyond circumstances and hard times.  I could see my beautiful daughters being care-free, and loving every minute of our day together.  Everything else that went on in the world around us was gone - if only for a day.

It's hard to look into the heart and really see.  Sometimes we forget that our heart holds the key to life, both physical and emotional.  We get so caught up in the day to day, with all of the rules and stipulations on how to be, how to act, how to feel.

It was just what I needed to forget all of that yesterday while we were playing.

It's times like these that I wish I could look back on in a magic crystal ball and recapture them.  Relive them.

As time marches on, and our lives change, I begin to see inside my own heart.  I begin to see my full potential. I see security and confidence where there was once apprehension and uncertainty.  I see joy and immense happiness for the good things that are to come.

While I am just beginning the process of healing and moving on, the more I see, the more I awaken.

And it's a beautiful sight.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Endless

Sometimes I wonder why life happens the way it does.

When I started this blog, I was looking for an outlet and a way to express my life, as it was, and to continue to find the blessings in it, despite the circumstances.

The responses from you, the reader, have been overwhelming.  The love and support I have received as I've taken you on my journey through motherhood and my experiences is amazing.

No matter what happens in my life, good or bad, I have learned that there is always a greater plan.  There is always life after loss, healing after pain, joy after sorrow.  There is never a reason to give up, or give in.

I know these things now more than ever.

The friendships I have are endless.

My love for my children is endless.

The blessings I see when I open my eyes every day are endless.

The grace and mercy I have been given are endless.

I have such peace about the next chapter and have finally accepted that life as I knew it before is no longer.  I have begun to see a glimpse of my life to come, and it is BEAUTIFUL.


There's no other way to be, no other way to think.  God is good.  He continues to amaze me every single day as I walk this journey, completely blinded by what's around the next corner.


He is faithful.

Although the next chapter of my journey is unclear to me, I believe that what lies ahead is something wonderful.  I will continue to walk with my head held high, proud of the wife I was and the mother that I am.  I will not walk into the future with fear, but with hope and anticipation of things and events that are beyond my comprehension of happiness as I knew it.


I know this is a short post, but I need to get back to it.


God's blessings are endless.


The future, the promises are endless.