Wednesday, February 29, 2012

How Do We Teach Our Kids To Say Goodbye? (57/366)

Wednesday February 29, 2012

Happy Leap Day! 

Today we are praying for those in the Midwest hit by the deadly and devastating tornadoes this morning.  My thoughts and prayers go out to all of those affected by the storms.

It's difficult to write tonight with the girls' bedroom door opening every 10 seconds, each time with a new excuse to be out of bed.  I was hoping to have a relaxing evening, blogging done by 9:00 pm, and snug in my own bed watching Criminal Minds and SVU... Not so much.

Something has been weighing heavy on me for a while now.  The title of this post pretty much says it all - how do we teach our kids to say goodbye?  More specifically, how do we teach them to say goodbye to their friends whom we no longer see?

There are many reasons why people grow apart. Someone moves away, life gets in the way, or our own personal lives just change in such a way it's not possible to remain friends.  No matter the reason, it's seemingly easier for us adults to "say goodbye" or move on, but what about our kids?

Sometimes we can't fully explain why we don't see their friends anymore - it's "complicated adult stuff", or we just plain don't have a legitimate explanation.

I had lots of different friends from different areas while I was growing up.  I can still name them.  We were inseparable, and then my family moved again.  Not far, but far enough away that we didn't see those friends ever again.  I'm sure the distance, along with the business of moving, new schools and settling in was the reason my parents didn't make the drive for play dates anymore.

Kids sometimes have memories like steel traps.  They remember things we said when they were teenie tiny, and they definitely remember their friends.  They know who they like to hang out with and who they don't.  So, when they ask why they can't have a play date with their "old friends", what do you say?

I think kids need to be told the truth... for the most part.  We have never been afraid to teach our kids about the "hard to hear" parts of life.  And as they grow and things come up, we are as honest with them as we can be.  For example, my kids were taught early on about death and the cycle of life.  We didn't want them to fear the inevitable.  Hannah was somewhat faced with this last year when one of her good friends' dad passed away suddenly.

Sometimes the truth is simply beyond their comprehension.  I still don't outright lie to my kids, I just may not tell them the whole truth, and I may soften it a bit.  At least they get the same end result, which is an explanation.  It seems to satisfy.  For a while.

But when they start asking again, saying they miss their friends, when is it okay to just tell them that we won't be seeing them again?  And how do we explain why, when the answer is not something they could understand?

I'm thankful that my girls love all of their friends; the old, the new and everything in between. I would never want to shatter that loving sense that they come by so naturally.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Sweet Endings (56/366)

Tuesday February 28, 2012

Today was jam-packed to say the least.

Well, for me it was.

After we got Hannah on the bus, Ava and I headed off to dance class.

While Ava was dancing away, I decided to make some phone calls.  I realized that I had scheduled the girls' birthday party for the same day as dance pictures.

For those of you that have never experienced dance, it's a BIG DEAL, to put it mildly!

The hair, makeup, full costume, everything must be done (in my opinion) for the pictures, rehearsal and recital.  I eat this stuff up!

So, I called my husband to make sure he could take care of the house and party food while I got the girls gussied up for dance pics.  I then realized that my girlfriend (whose daughter is also in dance) will be in Florida for dance pictures.  So I called her and offered to get her daughter ready and take her to the pictures with us.

I then called my step-mom to enlist her help with getting everyone ready for the recital.  My husband has been planning a fishing trip for over 6 months, and it happens to be recital weekend, so he will miss recital this year.  Last year, of course, I did all of the getting ready, but I only had one daughter in dance. He was there to entertain the little one while Hannah and I decked ourselves out for the recital.

This year, I will be alone... with 2 dancers to get ready!  So a little help is definitely needed. I think we will just tag-team the girls and have them ready likety split!

See what I mean??








After dance, Ava and I headed to Costco.  I haven't been to Costco since October of last year.  Yes, that was on purpose.  We were reduced to a single income at that time and something had to go!  Unfortunately it was Costco.  It felt so good to get back and replenish everything!  And Ava was a trooper.  She didn't get her nap, and she was SUCH a big helper!

After Costco, Ava and I headed to Meijer.  First stop: bottle returns.  We return our bottles about 3 times each year.  Today's return? $47.00.  Ava ran her own machine. Cans only, and she gets the bags that come from inside the house - those get rinsed out.  If she saw a glass bottle, she wouldn't touch it, just holler at me to come and take it out of her bag!

After Meijer, we headed home.  We got home around 2:30 and made some turkey sandwiches and snuggled for a bit.  Then Ava wanted to head downstairs to watch Snow While until Sissy got home.

At 4:10, we piled in the car and went to our township hall.  I VOTED!  I'm not going to expand... politics are such a touchy subject.  But, I do believe we should exercise our right to vote.  I brought the girls in with me.  I think it took a total of 2 minutes from start to finish, but nonetheless, I took the opportunity to teach the girls that they should get educated about politics and that they should always vote!

We got home and had dinner. I got a call from my husband to get online to Sportsman's Guide and check out a crossbow that's on sale right now. We ordered it together while on the phone, along with a few accessories, and I can't wait to get it!

ISN'T IT PERTY??!!










Yes, I am a hunter... of sorts.  A hunter with small kids at home to take care of.  The wife of a very, very avid hunter.  So, I took hunter's safety right after we got married in order to spend time with my husband in the fall months.  The only times I've hunted in those 10 years are 1. during gun season (Nov. 15-30) and 2. when I wasn't pregnant.

So... not much!

But NOW - I get to hunt the whole month of October too! I am so excited!!  Before we hung up, my husband said to me, "Happy Birthday!"  Last year, I got a new 20 gauge shotgun... I'm seeing a pattern here!

I'm thankful for busy days with sweet endings.  I'm thankful to have made the effort and time to blend into my husband's world, and I truly enjoy it!

And this fall, I'll be thankful for the deer I can shoot down... without freezing my butt off in November packed in with all of the other gun hunters, shooting at the same deer.  HA!

Your Legs Aren't Broken! (55/366)

Monday February 27, 2012

"Your legs aren't broken!"

This was a sentiment directed at me by my (almost) 6 year old daughter.  The interaction went like this:

Hannah had just drawn from scratch two beautiful pictures - colored and everything.  They were very special.

Me: "These are beautiful pictures Hannah!  Definitely frame worthy! Could you please put them on the computer desk so they don't get wrinkled, spilled on or ripped?  I want to keep them nice."

Hannah: "Umm, your legs aren't broken!"

Me: (In total shock) "Ex-CUSE me?!" I think I got a little whiplash as my head spun in her direction.

Hannah: "I said, your legs don't look broken. Why don't you bring them over there yourself?"

Let me just say that this was TOTALLY out of the blue.  We were having a great morning, and I had just gotten done raving about her artwork that I was willing to put holes in the walls to display.

Let me also say that Hannah is NOT a snotty kid.  At. All.

Aren't they all snotty at some point though? At least a little bit?

I mean, I have days, or moments where things that come out of my mouth completely reflect my mood at that moment, and the person that they're directed at didn't necessarily do anything to deserve my tone or my words. 

I either end up eating crow later because of it, or it is brushed off and forgotten as one of those moments.

So, I wanted to run with the emotions that were raging inside me.  Instead, I deferred to my husband, who was not the object of her comment.  He handled it very well - not making a huge deal of it, yet letting Hannah know that she is NEVER to talk to her mom again like that (yeah right).

I mean, let's be honest.  I was a young girl once, and then a teenaged daughter... with parents. I can't hang on every little word, or we'll never get along.  I am supposed to be the mother, then one with all of the life experience.  Hannah is testing boundaries, and seeing what she can and can't get away with.

She has been inundated this year with new friends and personalities, all coming from different backgrounds.  I don't care to pinpoint where she got it from.  She's going to get it from somewhere.

The goal is to let her know those boundaries, and keep her at bay with respect to those who deserve it.

She's allowed to have bad days, and bad moments.  I think we all are.

She's allowed a little bit of room to test our reactions to the things she says. (Remind me of this sentiment when she is 16).

It's up to me to react properly.  I can either help her understand and learn, or I can explode and push her away.  At the ripe old age of 6.

I'm thankful that I was blessed with not one daughter but two.  You know that old saying, our parents used to tell us that their parents used to tell them? "Someday, when you have kids you'll understand."

I'm starting to get it now.

Can't wait for the teen years.


All That Glitters (54/366)

Sunday February 27, 2012

So, today was the Disney Live show.

I blogged about it back in January.

I was nervous on so many levels.

Nervous about the cost.

Nervous about the timing of getting two little girls and myself extra beautiful for the day.

Nervous if I'd have enough cash on me.

Nervous about the crowds.

Nervous about bringing a (almost) 3 year old to a venue that large...

You get the picture!

Well... we HAD. A. BLAST.

I planned the day perfectly. I even had time enough in the morning to have a few cups of coffee and relax with my hubby before we all got ready.

The girls got ready first.  Part of their gift was new dresses to wear.  Hannah had a light pink flowy dress embellished with sequins.

Ava had a light blue/teal dress embellished with... glitter.

Ava's dress graced just about every room of our house that morning, and every piece of furniture.

There was glitter E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E

We left early to meet our friends and took a few pictures...




We all carpooled together (my friend's van was now covered in glitter), and got in early to wander and buy our souvenirs.

*We ate before we left the house.
*I bought one souvenir per daughter (sorta).  Hannah and Ava each got one souvenir, and I snuck back later during intermission and bought just the cup that the $12 snowcones come in, so Ava could have a cool princess cup at home like Hannah does...  I hid it until we got home, and served chocolate milk in their princess cups for a suprise.
*I did buy the program, but I had to - it's a really great memory piece for the girls to look back on.
*Although we ate before we went, we still bought a big bag of popcorn, hot pretzels and a soda to share.  My girlfriend bought the candy for the girls to share.  So much for not eating there...

The lines for the women's bathroom weren't horrifying.  Definitely tolerable.  Ava had me get up with her only 3 times (twice during the show, once during intermission) to go potty.  She didn't have to go when we got there, but I praised her saying I was proud that she didn't pee in her dress...  Really just trying to calm myself. Everytime I sat down and got comfortable, she had to go!  Such is life when you're potty training!

The show was only 90-ish minutes long.  A little disappointing.  I wish the stories had been a little longer, but I suppose any greater length of time and my napless 3 year old would have unraveled.

The day was a success.  Aside from a lost debit card (that was later found), a spilled soda (it was full) and a couple of near panic moments, we had a great time.

I am thankful for these memories...



And these...

And these.

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Perfect Playmates (53/366)

Saturday February 25, 2012

About once a month, Matt and I get together with our friends who have teenaged children.

Obviously, this seems perfect since our little kids still need a babysitter.

Our kids love their kids, and because of that, us adults have a great time with each other as well! 

So today we got together around dinner time.  The kids all ate together and us adults went out for dinner.  How nice is that?

I remember when I was little, going to visit my parents' friends who had kids our ages.  The kids played all night, the adults played all night and we either left in our jammies, or we all stayed the night if it was farther away.

Now, I am seeing this unfold in our own tradition.

Just because we have kids doesn't mean we can't be social. 

Of course, when our kids were babies, we needed cribs or pack-n-plays, white noise, bottles, etc.  My kids would NEVER and I mean N-E-V-E-R sleep anywhere else but home.  It was a real drag to either hire a babysitter or put another family member out to have them come over and stay at our house for the evening.

For a long time, we just didn't go anywhere unless our kids were at an overnight at their eager Bumpa & Gwi-Gwi's or Grandpa & Grams'.

Now... it's just FUN!

We can pretty much go anywhere.

The kids all play, the adults all play and we either drive our kids home in their jammies, or we all stay the night.

I love the nostalgia that comes with this age.  I remember sitting on my daddy's lap asking him to explain how to play the cardgame they were very actively into.  I never got it, but being a part of my parents' "adult time" was such a privilege...

Our girls sit on our laps, eat pistachios and ask us to explain our cardgames.

It's really a great, great time right now.

I'm thankful for the memories I have of these times from years ago, and hope my girls have the same fondness when they remember our friends and their kids, whom they will grow up with.

The Calm... After The Storm (52/366)

Friday February 24, 2012

Well, last night's snow storm was less than impressive to say the least.

I brought enough wood in the house to last the weekend.

We were expecting 10-12 inches of snow.

We got about 3 inches.

Hannah had a snow day anyway.

I will say this, for a snow day, we couldn't have had a better day!

In the morning, the girls played quietly on their handhelds, and read each other books (I hardly knew they were here).  When noon rolled around, we ate lunch and headed outside.

The girls built a snowman, and I shoveled the driveway.

A beef roast cooked in the crockpot all day and we had beef roast, rosemary baked potatoes and steamed carrots for dinner.

It was the perfect ending to a snowstorm.

Today, I'm thankful that we didn't get 12 inches of snow... that my husband would have had to drive home in.

If only every snowstorm could be this much of a... letdown!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Night We (Almost) Lost A Tooth (51/366)

Thursday February 23, 2012

**WARNING - NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!!!**

So... I'm a bad mom.

Hannah hasn't lost a tooth yet (she'll be six years old in 2 weeks).

She's had a loose tooth on the bottom for what seems like forever!  We have just told her to keep wiggling it and eventually it will be ready to pull out, or it will fall out on its own.

So tonight she came to me and asked if I would pull it out for her - she's done this 100 times in the last few months.  And, unlike the other times, I told her I thought it was finally ready.  She said it was annoying and she was ready for it to be out.

I started slowly, just wiggling and checking things out. 

Then I started pushing it.

First one direction. Then the other.  As Ava looks on, mouth open, fingers on her chin...

Of course, Hannah was ready to let me know when it "hurt".  So, I stopped and she would run to the bathroom mirror to make sure her face was still in tact, and then she'd come back and ask me to try again.

After repeating this ritual 3 or 4 times, I told her that if she wanted to wait, it will eventually fall out on its own and we could stop at anytime she wanted.

She told me to continue.

So I did.

And the next time I pushed that tooth, I felt it S-N-A-P!  I could feel it pulling away from the gums.

I thought for sure I would have a tooth in my hand, but I wasn't so lucky.

Then started the wailing.  OH! The wailing!

Hannah started wailing and crying and went on & on about how it hurt and oh my goodness.

She ran to the bathroom mirror to make sure she still had hair and a nose...  and came back out, still whimpering, and told me that her tooth was bleeding everywhere! 

(It wasn't).

I went to the bathroom where she was literally 1/2 inch away from the mirror, wiggling her tooth.  She was done crying now and telling me how she liked the way her blood tastes (ew).

I said, "What, are you a vampire now?"

She laughed.

I said, "Hey, does it really hurt or is it just uncomfortable?  Because I remember when I had loose teeth your Grandpa or your Bumpa would tie one end of a piece of string around my loose tooth, and tie the other end of the string to a doorknob, and YANK!" (I don't know if they did or not, I just remember being threatened with it).

She looked up at me with pure horror in her eyes.

She said, "It is just uncomfortable, i-i-i-i-t-t-t doesn't really h-h-h-u-r-r-t..."

I think she was just a little overwhelmed by the sounds and the feelings in her mouth.  I remember it well, actually.

I looked back at her and said, "It's just like a bandaid. You just gotta yank it and then it's over.  Quick and dirty.  Wait till you have kids. Now that's pain!"

I was kidding.

Sort of.
She looked up at me again with the same pure horror in her eyes.

**Now this is where I must interject a quick side story.  I don't do pain.  Obviously, I've had kids.  I got my epidural when I was dilated to 1 cm.  My doctor exclaimed that in his 25 years of being an OBGYN, he'd never given one that early.  I insisted.  I don't do pain.  So, for me to talk about how painful childbirth is, I only know how painful the contractions are until you're dilated to 1. Yeah, I'm a wuss.**

I put my arm around her and told her that I was totally kidding.  I would never do anything to hurt her on purpose, and losing her first tooth should be a very special occasion - not a traumatic one.

She decided she wanted to wait until tomorrow to try again, and I'm totally okay with that. But all it needs is ONE MORE GOOD TUG!

Someday, when she does finally lose this tooth, I'll make sure to tell that story - I'm sure it'll be good.

Ava eventually looks up at me and says, "Mama, I has a loose tooth too. But I's don't want you to pull on it, okay?  It will fall out all by itself.  All by itself."

Today, I'm thankful that I'm able to be here with my kids for their firsts.  This is fun.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mama Needs A New Set Of Clubs! (50/366)

Wednesday February 22, 2012

I love to golf.  Every summer since 2007 Matt and I have golfed on a couple's league.

That first summer was something.  I had never golfed in my life.  So, just in case I didn't like it (or I was horrible at it), I borrowed my husband's golf clubs.

He's 5'11".

I'm 5'4".

Enough said.  His clubs were way too big for me!

But by the end of the first season, I had grown accustomed to lowering my hands on the grip and letting it rip!

My favorite driver - the 1 wood.

My favorite chipper - the 9 iron.

My favorite putter - any club handy that has a flat front, and just hit it soft.

Yeah.

So, the second year went much the same way. 

By the third year, after much insisting from my husband that I needed my own set of clubs (that fit), I went out and bought HIM a new set for Father's Day.

Now his old clubs were mine.  ALL MINE.

I still had to listen to him yip and yap about how they don't fit me, and the incessant droning about me using the wrong club to make certain shots!  I actually contributed to our golf score, so I didn't care!  I had thought it would be the perfect distraction from my misfit clubs - his shiny new bag and brand new sticks.

The fourth year, he went and bought me a new driver... just the driver, for Mother's Day.  WOW! What a difference that made!! 

Last year, I shot my driver, the 1 wood from the fairway, I learned how to properly use the 9 iron, a chipper, a wedge, and I also inherited Matt's old putter.

Seventh Heaven.

Well, I got an email from a place called Budget Golf, where I had ordered a pair of golf shoes a few years back.  Right now, they're having a closeout sale.

My birthday is coming up.

So is golf season.

Apparently I have spring fever.  And a little extra Christmas Money left in my wallet.

So I bought a new set of golf clubs - FOR ME.  On closeout of course.  With free shipping.

And I'll surprise Matt with them...

I'm thankful for closeout sales - and retail therapy.  I had the extra money to buy them - it was set aside for me to "spoil myself with". 

I hope he's happy now.  ;) 

When To Suck It Up (49/366)

Tuesday February 21, 2012

I've had a long weekend, and a busy start to the week. I've been writing the weekend's blogs in the Blogger App on my phone, but I don't care to publish from there.

I haven't turned on my computer since last week Thursday, so I apologize for the delay in getting these published.  They'll all be up by the end of today...

So with that said, on to today's post.

**********************************************************************************************************

No one likes a tattle-tale.  At least that's what we tell our kids when they're young, right?

Of course, there are certain times in life when it's okay, even necessary to tell.

But teaching children this difference is hard.

Especially if they're being bullied.  My new friend, and fellow blogger Sue Cramer recently blogged about bullying - read it here.

Today's post isn't about bullying, but about the small(er) stuff.  Thankfully, we haven't had to deal with bullying in school - yet.  I'm sure in some form or another however, it's coming.

My daughter Hannah is soooo sensitive.  Overly so at times.  But it's one of the qualities about her that make her so special.  We are at the point in her development that it's time we teach her when to tell, and when to suck it up.

For a sensitive soul, it's really hard to suck it up.  Not only is she sensitive, but much like her mommy, she is emotional.  When you've been hurt or offended, even in the slightest, your emotions take over.

Your mind wanders, it's all-consuming and at times feels like the end of the world.  Sucking it up is NOT an option!

So, while we're teaching her the difference between when to let things go and when it's important to tell, we're also trying to teach her to keep the communication lines open.  And we're trying to do this without seeming insensitive ourselves.

What a terrible web we weave!!

We want her to think of her parents as a safe place for her to land, and unload her problems.  As she grows, her problems won't be as insignificant as playground mishaps.  But the lessons start now.

These lessons are critical to life, and certainly our young daughter's emotional well-being. We don't want to squash her sweet, sensitive soul, but she needs to be able to brush some things off while maintaining her confidence and sense of self-worth.

I see nothing but success for Hannah.  As I've said in earlier posts, everything she touches seems to turn to gold.  We are continually feeding her with praise and compliments.

But we're real-life parents too. She knows there are bad people out there, she knows that not everyone is good.  And I think this is important for her to know - expecially since she is the sensitive one.  She tends to be trusting and maybe a little naive...

Today I'm thankful for the teachable moments, both big and small.  I'm thankful to be reminded of things that seem trivial to me, but are monumentous to Hannah and to take those opportunities to teach, to nourish and to love.

Doing Nothing Means Doing Something (48/366)

Monday February 20, 2012

President's Day.

No mail.

And for my husband, no work.

A nice surprise - he could have chosen to work for overtime, but coming off of a weekend without seeing his girls, he chose to stay home.

And on this day, we chose to do... nothing.  Well, something, but really, nothing.

Hannah had school as usual so after she got on the bus, I was enjoying some coffee with Ava while we waited for Daddy to wake up.

Matt woke up around 10:00 and decided to get dressed and start cutting firewood.

His butt never left the couch.

We ended up setting up the Scrabble board and played all day.  I write about our Scrabble experiences quite often in my Facebook status updates, but just so you know, it is our MOST favorite thing to do together.

Our ABSOLUTE MOST favorite thing.

I received our Scrabble Diamond Anniversary Edition board game as a Christmas gift 2 years ago.  For the first year and a half, we played Scrabble every single weekend, at least once.

My husband likes to make up his own words, so I'm always keen to check the Scrabble dictionary - often.  So much so, in fact that its pages are falling out, and Matt has handwritten some of his made-up words at the top of the pages.  i.e. "Fishrider - One who rides fish".  I think it's time for a new one! 

So on this day, with Ava being home, she learned how to spell a few words too!

We played best out of 5 games...  He won.  As usual.

Actually, I won 2 games and he won 3.

Not only did he win those 3 games, but in 2 of those games he played all 7 of his letters TWICE.  There's a 50 point bonus for using all of your letters on one word.  He SMOKED me! 

To my credit, I did come back in one of those games and beat him at his own game, so to speak!

Today, I am thankful for "doing nothing", and having such a great time with my most favorite person in the whole wide world.

"Doing nothing" today meant making some of our most favorite pasttime memories.  Maybe someday I'll beat him... err, SMOKE him!

Pick-Up Day (47/366)

Sunday February 19, 2012

Today is pick-up day.

First, we picked up a bunch of things at the mall.

As long as I've been with him, my husband has never owned a proper winter coat. 

Seriously.  We live in Michigan...

So, we picked up a really nice new winter jacket for him, along with a couple of casual coats and a new work coat.

I think he's set.

Then, we picked up some new princess dresses for the girls' birthdays.  This coming Sunday is the Disney Live show and I wanted the girls to have new beautiful dresses to wear so they feel, well, Princess-y.

Next, we picked up the girls at my mom's house.  Man! After not seeing them for 48 hours, they looked HUGE!  It seemed as though they had grown a TON since we last saw them on Friday.

We all hopped in the car and made a stop to my friend's house just around the corner.  My kids and their kids played for a while and we checked out their new house.  I'm sure they had some picking up to do when we left!!

When we got home, it was a free-for-all!  Wrestling, tickling, board games, the WORKS.

And after the girls went to bed, I had some more picking up to do.  The toys, the blankets, the clothes, the games, the dishes...

The signs of a great reunion!

Today I'm thankful for my kids.  When they're gone, I miss them terribly, and when they're back, I appreciate them so much more!  (Even the messes...)

A Long Winter's Nap (46/366)

Saturday February 18, 2012

Today, I slept until 2:00 pm.

2:00 PM.

I didn't feel a bit guilty about it either!

The house was clean, Matt was being quiet, doing his own thing.

I received a text message that actually woke me up.  It was from my mom letting me know that Ava woke up that morning with a dry pull-up.  Of course, I wrote back my excitement and that prompted a call from Ava.

She talked to both her daddy and me - and we praised and praised her!

She said she misses us, and of course, hearing her sweet little voice on the other end of the line made her seem soooo far away!

We set the arrangements for the morning pick up and hung up.

I suddenly felt empty inside - and realized the house was TOO quiet at that point.  But I knew I had one more day to make the most of the free time I had left.

Today I'm thankful for the sweet little victories of my 3 year old - she was SO proud of herself!

And I'm still thankful for the silence... it won't last long!

Lunch With Bumpa (45/366)

Friday February 17, 2012

Yesterday, I blogged about the much needed break I was getting this weekend.  I was so distracted by this break that I completely forgot to attend my friend's Tupperware party yesterday morning.

I sent in my order for the party at the 11th hour, but I missed a good one.  She blogged about it, and her husband had some choice words for all the women in the house that day that didn't lift a finger to help with the housework! 

Read her blog here: Life With Four Boys, Coffee Please!

And the one about the Tupperware Party here: A Tupperware Party


***************************************************************************************************

Today's the day I drop the girls off with my mom and step dad for the weekend.

My step dad, whom the kids call Bumpa, took a 1/2 day off of work to spend with the girls.

We met for lunch before parting ways.

It was so nice to sit down, relax and have a fun lunch with the girls and Bumpa.

The girls obviously missed him, as they fought over who gets to sit in the booth seat next to Bumpa.

Hannah won, but after we were done eating, he had one next to him and the other on his lap!

Thus starts my weekend without my girls, and their weekend of fun together.

I am thankful for the impromptu lunch, but also the silence that followed...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

A Much Needed Break (44/366)

Thursday February 16, 2012

With everything that's been going on with Ava lately, and having to go at it alone (for the most part), I am so ready for a break. 

My mom & step dad live an hour away from us.  It's only an hour... but it's an HOUR!

They both work full time, and we don't get to see each other too terribly often.

My girls LOVE their Gwi Gwi & Bumpa, and like to go up occasionally and spend a night or two on the weekend with them. 

They go to their church, and have their own friends up there.

And I get a much needed break.

Sometimes I catch up with friends.

Sometimes I catch up with my hubby.

Sometimes I sleep... the WHOLE weekend!

This weekend I feel it will be a sleeping break.

With the gloominess of winter hanging on tightly, I have been so tired and had a total lack of motivation.

So this will be just the break I need.

It will be nice for my girls to get out of these four walls as well.

I know how incredibly blessed I am to have parents that are willing and able to take the girls overnight at any time.  All of my girls' grandparents are that way.

It helps to balance things in my life - I believe every mom needs a break here & there.  I think it's healthy and necessary in order to reset our overloaded minds, and reconnect with ourselves, our friends and our spouses.  I probably get more than my share - and I realize just how lucky I am.

I am thankful for willing and eager parents.

I am even more thankful for uninterrupted rest and adult time.  It's just what I need.

Thank you Bumpa & Gwi Gwi!!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dreams That Don't Come True (43/366)

Wednesday February 15, 2012

One of my favorite things to do as a child was to play school with my friends.  Back then, we had chalk boards and magnetic letters to use for teaching each other.

My dream since I was very little was to be a first grade teacher.

This evening, I was cleaning the kitchen after dinner and noticed how quiet my house was.  I finished the dishes, and went to the girls' room only to find them playing school!

They were both in their jammies, Hannah was in a chair at the front of the "class".

Ava was on the "reading rug", listening to Hannah read "Ferdinand".

Then Hannah stops after showing the pictures of the page she was reading to the class. 

She asked, "Now, does anyone have any questions?"

Ava raised her hand and asked, "Miss Hannah, um, can we have free time now?"

Miss Hannah said, "Of course! For five minutes you may read to yourselves."

So, Ava picks up a book, and starting at the beginning reads each page based on what she sees in the pictures.

Brilliant, I tell you!

I couldn't help but go back to my childhood and remember playing school with my friends.  I felt a twinge of regret that I never went on to see my dream of becoming a teacher.

But as I look at my daughters (they didn't know that I had been watching), I see brilliance in them - and I am filled with contentment.

I am content with my life - I am blessed beyond measure.

I want better for them than what I gave myself, and I think we are on the right path to that dream.

I am thankful for my amazing, beautiful daughters.

I am also thankful for dreams that didn't come true.  Had I gone to college, I may not have met Matt, and I wouldn't know these two beautiful souls that God has given me to bring up.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

V-Day Joy (42/366)

Tuesday February 14, 2012








So... today is Valentine's Day.

I love seeing the special things everyone gets from their loved ones and all of the fun things they do with their kids for school.

But... I'm not really into Valentine's Day.

Matt and I have always celebrated Sweetest Day instead for some reason.  This is strange because our first date (blind date) was February 17, 2000 - right around the corner from V-Day.  You'd think we'd love this holiday.

He has never bought flowers for me.

He has never bought jewelry for me.

And I've asked him not to.

I'm not a sentimental person.

Flowers die.

Jewelry goes out of style... and it costs a lot of money!

But that's just me!

Matt wished me a Happy Valentine's Day this morning by way of a Words With Friends message.

That was all I needed.

Last night, I spent an hour finishing up Hannah's Valentine's goody bags.  Today, I spent the day with Ava, who was a gem. 

We stopped by my brother's house after dance class today to pick up some Valentine's gifts that my mom left there for the girls.  She's big on holidays.  She always gets something for her grandkids... (Next year she'll have 6!)

Last week, when I was shopping at the Macy's One Day sale, I found some beautiful new quilts and sheets on CLEARANCE that would look awesome in the girls' bedroom. 

One of their favorite things in the whole world is having new sheets on their beds.  They ask me every other day if they can change their sheets.

Of course, changing sheets means more laundry to me... so I try to hold them off for a couple weeks.

But tonight, what was meant to be a birthday present for them turned into a very sweet Valentine's Day memory.

While Hannah was in the shower, and Ava was busy on the iPod, I snuck into their bedroom and pulled off the old sheets.  I had washed the new ones and they were ready to put on.

I made their beds so pretty, and comfy.

When they saw their beds, they were ecstatic! 

I got hugs and kisses and "Thank you Mommy, you're the BEST!"

In this house, a freshly made bed is the perfect way to say "I Love You".

It always has been.

So, on Friday, before Matt is able to jump in for the night, I will put the new quilt on our bed that I bought last week too.

My girls went to bed tonight, and I never saw them again.  What normally happens on a nightly basis is one million reason to get up, or NOT go to sleep.

I guess the new sheets and quilts are a hit.

Today, I am thankful for special family memories that go beyond the norm.

I'm thankful for freshly made beds, and I can't wait until Friday night.

Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours!  

Monday, February 13, 2012

Driver's Training (41/366)

Monday February 13, 2012

Everywhere I go, as long as Hannah is in the car, I feel like I have my own personal driver's training instructor in the back seat.

Only, my instructor is cool and lets me listen to music while we drive!

She likes to sit behind the passenger side of the car so she can watch the speedometer, the gas guage and all of the dashboard lights.

She makes sure to tell me when we're at each 1/4 hashmark on the gas guage.

Everytime we pass a speed limit sign, she tells me what it is.  She then announces how fast I'm going and whether or not I need to slow down.

She likes to guess how many miles it will be until we reach our destination.

Today, we were traveling in a 35 mph zone and we were approaching a curve that had one of those suggested "Curve Speed" signs just before it. 

Hannah says, "Mommy, it's 25 while we take the curve, and then you can go 35 again.  Make sure you don't go over 25 on the curve, or a policeman will send you to jail!"

I laughed right out loud!!!

So, I briefly explained that I would do as she asked, but even if a policeman did pull me over, that I wouldn't go to jail just for that.

How cool is it that I get my very own radar detector in the car everytime I go somewhere with Hannah?

I'm super thankful that my daughter is observant, and she knows the laws!  ;)

I'm also super thankful for the chuckles I get everytime she corrects my driving. 

I'm sure it won't always be cute.

Life For Me (40/366)

Sunday February 12, 2012

I was recently told by someone that I should go to Disney World with my kids this spring so that when I blog I would have something a little more positive and upbeat to write about.

I was a little taken aback by this but chose not to let it bother me.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about this comment since it was spoken, though.  I know it wasn't meant to be hurtful in any way.

I went back to the first day I set up this blog.  I remembered what I was thinking and why I started.

At the time, I was struggling with depression, I had just gotten severanced from my job and I was not in a good place in life.  I was considering writing a book about my experience as a first-time mom - because it was somewhat traumatic for me.
I only posted 9 times in the first 12 months of having the blog running.  I never took the time to write as I got caught up in pulling myself together.

I blog because it's an outlet for me.  It's a place for me to go to write down my thoughts and experiences.

This year, I took on the goal of writing at least one time each day for an entire year.  In each post, I would add what I am thankful for that day, or with that experience.  I did this with the thoughts in mind that we should "speak what isn't as though it is", and "fake it till you make it".

If we can change the way our mind thinks - from depression to thankfulness, just by practicing every day, isn't it worth a try?

It's like praying for our enemies.  Why should we do that?  When we pray for our enemies, our hearts are changed as well.

I write about things that are on my mind, and very real to me.  I write about the subjects that the majority of people keep private (and some people just ignore).

I know not everyone will agree with me, and that's expected and totally ok.  I know I am taking a risk by publishing my thoughts - I'm at risk for judgement and criticism.

The people in my life are all different - with different outlooks on life, and different life experiences.  That's what makes everyone unique.

I think life is beautiful. I think the people in my life are beautiful. 

Some days, I will write about amazing, fun and upbeat stories.  Others, I will dig a little deeper and share those thoughts too.

I've never been a "sugar-coater".  Yes, I think life is beautiful, but for whatever reason, sometimes life is ugly.  There are mean, ugly people in the world. There are days when we wonder how we can go on.  And yet we do.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to air my thoughts.  I can't explain how therapeutic and freeing it is.

I'm also thankful for open-minded readers, both supporters and critics alike.

A Little Pirate Action... (39/366)

Saturday February 11, 2012

ARRRRRRRGGGHH! (Insert Pirate scowl)

We had the best time today at Hannah's friend's birthday party!  We went to a place called Pirate's Island... an indoor water park.

I was a little bit nervous, wondering if there was enough Xanax on the planet to cover the anticipated anxiety levels I knew I would encounter.

I don't do well in crowds.

Especially large crowds of screaming, wet kids.

And with everything that's been going on with Ava lately (HORRIBLE 3's, anyone?), I was a little extra nervous.

BUT... This was an event for my kids, my friends' kids, and especially my dear friend's amazing little boy who turned 6 last week.

So there was no question in whether or not to go.

I prepared impeccably.  I packed different bathing suits (after all, I have little girls - decisions, decisions), many towels and anything else I could think of to help avoid a disaster!

My husband brought his suit since he planned to hang with Ava, who can't swim yet. 

I stayed in my jeans and barefeet.

We. Had. A. BLAST.

At some point, my husband was going down one of the water slides with my oldest daughter, so I was looking out for Ava.  She was playing in ankle deep water on a Pirate Ship, going down kiddy slides.

I got drenched - IN THE FACE - by a water gun mounted on the pirate ship - operated by "someone else's kid"!!  I was not happy, but wiped the water away and kept playing with Ava - who was having a blast!

When it came time to go, I knew it was inevitable that Ava would throw a fit.  I sat next to my girlfriends, ignoring her screams in protest of leaving.  I hid my face behind a beach towel, laughing histerically at one point.  She wasn't allowed to see any reaction from me, but this was too funny!  It was a laugh or cry moment - I chose to laugh.

On one side of me, I've got my amazingly strong girlfriend reminding me that she is looking for attention and NOT to give in.

On the other side of me, I've got my amazingly sweet girlfriend offering to bring Ava back in the pool.

We ended up leaving anyway.  I didn't want to see that twice.

So, as we're driving home, the whining ensues.  Everyone's tired.

We approach our street and I look back to the backseat and see this:









When we got home, the girls played quietly until dinner. 

My husband took a long nap.

I unwound.

As I reflected on the day, I was thankful I gave it a chance and "walked the plank" to an event that used to send me into somewhat of a panic attack.  I wasn't considering NOT going, I was just nervous how I'd do. I actually felt silly for feeling that way in the first place.

I am thankful to have an amazing husband who came with us and literally jumped right in with the kids.  I told him so later in the evening.  He also told me what an absolute awesome time he had.

I am thankful that my kids had such a fun time.  It was priceless seeing the endless joy on their faces while we were there.

I am thankful for my friends - who had it together and showed me that it was just fine.  Just go with it!  I see a strength in them that I envy - and they probably don't even know it.

I am thankful for the memories we made today - they are some I'll never forget.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Speak Your Mind! (38/366)

Friday February 10, 2012

James 1:19, 20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

We all want to do right by others. Especially those closest to us.  Yet, why do we hurt those we love?

It's true that we sometimes hurt those closest to us deeper than we would an acquaintance.

Sometimes passion, conviction, beliefs and even utter stupidity get in the way of logical thinking.

I have been known (notoriously) in my family for being the one that speaks without thinking, and usually ends up making the problem worse than it ever needed to be.  I use my emotions to speak, and I act on them.

In turn, it has taken double the time to mend relationships that have been broken because of this.  It has led to permanent emotional scars in some cases.  Of course, there are two sides to every story, and my emotional outbursts haven't always been totally to blame.

I have learned over time how to properly address a sensitive situation, while still being strong and standing my ground.

When we encounter a situation with someone we love - a sister, husband, friend, a parent - it's obviously always best to take the advice from our Father above and be "quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger..."

However, when emotions are in high gear, or if there is a feeling of shock or disbelief, it can be so easy to shoot off.  The skill of waiting to speak, and thinking first is a courtesy that takes practice to perfect.

I truly believe it is always the right thing to do to speak your mind.  Speak the truth. Stand your ground when it is important, defend the weak and helpless, defend yourself.  If the relationship is important enough to you, isn't it better to do this, than to cower away for fear of offending, or angering?

Timing is everything, so remember not to have this conversation if it's too soon, or the incident is too fresh - but you have to have the conversation sometime.  They will know where you stand, and all will be faced with some hard realizations.  Tough choices lie ahead and will determine if the relationship can withstand the trauma.  At least the line in the sand has been drawn, and the boundaries are set.

It's never best to sweep emotional issues under the rug.  Anger is destructive.  It's destructive to our health, our emotional state and our other relationships that are still in tact.  Unforgiveness should never be allowed in our hearts. Forgiving someone doesn't release them from their burden nearly as much as it releases you from yours, and can provide great healing to a hard heart.

Today I'm thankful for second chances (and sometimes third and fourth), and the ability to continue learning these lessons in life.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.” ~ Alexander Pope




Thursday, February 9, 2012

It Never Hurts (37/366)

Thursday February 9, 2012

This is the first post I'm publishing from the Blogger app on my phone so I hope it turns out ok...


Lately, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned most of all just how much more I have to learn.


Don't get me wrong, I never thought I knew it all. To the contrary, I've been feeling as though I know NOTHING lately. I'm frantically trying to cram all of the answers into my already overloaded brain.


This week I've felt like throwing my hands up and throwing in the towel! My to-do list is infinite, my kids are running the house and my mind, my family appears to be in crisis, I'm forgetting dates and commitments, and on and on.


I'm sure most of you have been there and can relate...


Of course, it never hurts to get a little perspective. It never hurts to stop, NOT think for a minute and let my mind clear and be free of MY problems that seem so mountainous.


Seem is the operative word.


And they are huge to me, they are all-consuming at times. But with a clear head, I realize some things.


I am healthy, and I have friends that are hurting.


My marriage and family are strong, and there are other relationships around me that are close to crumbling.


My kids and my mind have eluded me, yet others have just had newborns that I should be celebrating.


So, I've been learning to stop, LISTEN, and try something new and "outta the box".


It never hurts to try something new, something you're completely uncomfortable with, something you just aren't sure you can muster up the courage to do.


There is profound peace in stopping in the midst of chaos, whether it's right there in the room or the war in your mind.


Take 10 minutes, stop thinking. No noise, no phones, no tv's, kids, pets.


In that 10 minutes, you will hear CLARITY. And right behind the clarity will be the PEACE that we need in order to go on and make better decisions.


The lists seem shorter, and less significant, the kids seem happier, and everything else seems so much further away.


This is a new process for me but I can tell you it works!


And hey, it will definitely never hurt.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A Much Better Day (36/366)

Wedneday February 8, 2012

In addition to yesterday's post I Think I'll Join the Kids, I realize that I didn't end that post with any thanksgiving. Nowhere in the post did I speak of what I am thankful for in that difficult situation - and this contradicts my promise that I made to write at least once per day for a whole year, with thankful undertones.  So, to that, I say that I am INCREDIBLY thankful for my daughter - no matter what we're going through.  I wouldn't trade her for anything, and I'll always seek help when I feel cornered. I would never want to do anything that would compound the situation or make it worse.  As I did yesterday, sometimes all we need to do is take a step back from a bad day, analyze it, and ask for others' opinions and input.  It can really put something like that into perspective, and make it seem not so critical.  So... on to today's post.

********************************************************************************************************

Today was a MUCH better day.

I got up early.

I had my coffee.

I watched something other than Nick Jr. or The Disney Channel.

I woke Hannah up for school, at which time Ava thought it appropriate to wake as well. 

My first thought, "Oh, great. Bright & early... Here we go".

But I got nothin'.

Nothin' but smiles, pleases, thank you's and other pleasantries.

She was patient, kind and HAPPY!

We hung out together, played a little bit, got dressed.

Then we went shopping with my mother-in-law.

We were gone from 11:00 am and didn't get home until 4:30 in the afternoon.

This means she skipped her nap - and she did GREAT!  All through boring shopping for bedding and scented soaps, a late lunch - she was a trooper!

I received such awesome feedback from you all after yesterday's post - I can't thank you enough!  I realize we're NOT BY ANY MEANS all better or out of the woods, but it was a good day after World War III broke out in my house yesterday!

I am incredibly thankful for the amazing advice from everyone - I will use it!

I am also thankful for a new day.  Today was a new day. And a good one.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

I Think I'll Join the Kids (35/366)

Tuesday February 7, 2012

Tonight, I think I'll join the kids when they go to bed.  It's been a really long day.

Maybe I can enlist the help of my fellow Mom readers out there...

My daughter Ava (who will be 3 years old in a few weeks) is just giving me fits!  I've never seen anything like it, either from her or her big sister (who was next to perfect once she hit about 12 months old).  Read my blog post Flashbacks to Losing It for the background on that!

She is yelling - at me, at her sister, at her daddy.  She is screaming the word "NO!" at the top of her lungs.  She isn't really throwing temper tantrums, but it seems for the majority of the time she is awake, she is whining, screaming or crying about something.

She actually has me afraid at this point. 

We ran a pretty tight ship with Hannah when she grew out of her colic.  She has been an ANGEL.  We never had to discipline her (very rarely), and she most always listened after the first warning.

So when Ava was born, I think we were just so short-wired by all of the crying we experienced with Hannah that we inadvertently jumped whenever Ava cried - and we never stopped.  Maybe we just catered to her too much, and went too far in the other direction with our parenting.

Now, let me be fair and say that Hannah and Ava are two very different little girls.  They are each individual, and different from one another.  I realize that plays a factor into this as well.

So, with Ava's temper and her outbursts, I have made a VERY conscious effort to praise her when she does things well - which is often.  I have spoken in a calm, matter of fact way that she can understand.  I have repeatedly gotten down to her eye level and spoken to her as a person.  That works - about 10% of the time.

The other times, after all of that fails, I get tough as nails.  Laying down the law, and letting her know that her behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.  I make sure that she knows that I love her, even when I'm upset.  I think that's a very important aspect of things - maybe I'm saying it at the wrong time?

I've tried spankings, time outs, bribery (which I'm careful with because I have to follow through), taking things away, THROWING toys away... I'm trying to remember the rule to let the punishment fit the crime.  I'm trying not to stoop to her level.

I NEED YOUR ADVICE!

Have you ever had a strong willed child?  What has worked for you?

Please let me be clear, I am okay.  I'm not going off the deep end.  I know my mind and my tolerance level, and that's why I'm asking for help.  I am not afraid to do so -- I know that anyone reading this who has been in my shoes has probably experienced this and can help!

I'm also keeping into perspective that this is a phase. She is 3 for Pete's sake!  I am remembering that this comes with parenthood... although trying to keep the peace at home.

Your comments are more than welcomed.  I thank YOU in advance!

Put Your Wine In Your Pocket (34/366)

Tuesday February 7, 2012

Plug time...

Have you ever had boxed wine?
Well, if you haven't, you should try it.

There are so many brands, you're bound to find one that you love from your local grocer...

Black Box Wines
Franzia
Almaden
Bota Box

...Just to name a few.

There are many advantages to boxed wine too:

*Boxed wine keeps for a month or more, even after it's been opened.
*It's perfect for the glass-a-day drinker
*No more half-consumed bottles hanging out in your fridge

You can buy boxed wines in any flavor - whether you're a white, blush, red or somewhere in between type.

The one thing that boxed wine has always been missing is, well, a way to keep it cool when you're on the go, i.e. camping, tailgating, partying, etc.

Until now.

The Wine Pocket

Available for 5 liter and 3 liter boxed wines, this product is designed specifically to keep your boxed wine cold.  Their website gives greater detail into the product's specifications and unique qualities. Here's a snippet:

"There is an adjustable shoulder strap and an outside pocket with a flap closure to carry keys, napkins, or other items. There is an opening for the spout of your favorite boxed wine to come through. The outside is made of a tough water resistant material that will last for years to come... 
...The Wine PocketTM comes with a non-sweating, re-freezable ice pack that once frozen, can be slipped inside next to beverage box, (be sure to freeze the ice pack as flat as possible, it will be hard afterall). Because this is a soft-sided cooler / tote, it can be rolled into a compact size convenient for storage or travel..."
  
The product is proudly Made In The U.S.A. and boasts a one-of-a-kind design like no other.

Visit their website to find out more about The Wine Pocket and how you can get yours now!  These also make great gifts for the boxed wine enthusiast in your life.

Right now, The Wine Pocket is on sale!  $10.00 off both sizes, while supplies last!

Visit www.thewinepocket.com for more information, and put your wine... in your pocket!






Monday, February 6, 2012

Monday, how I loathe thee... (33/366)

Monday February 6, 2012

I never used to hate Mondays.

Actually, up until about a month ago, it never mattered to me what day of the week it was. 

A day was a day... Unless it was the weekend.  I love the weekends.

Lately, I hate Mondays.  Join the club, right?

I've been getting to bed at a respectable hour on Sunday night.

I don't blog on the weekends because they're so busy.  So, I catch up on them on Monday night usually.  (Hence the fact that this is my 4th published post in just over 2 hours).

Man, Monday morning rolls around and I feel like I have been hit by a Mack truck.

And then run back over with it in reverse.

I've been working out with a buddy on Monday mornings as well.  You'd think that would help kickstart the day.

Nope.

So, I give up.

I give up trying to like Mondays. 

I give up trying to get anything done on Mondays.

Mondays from now on will be my do nothing day.

Ava and I will stay in our jammies all day (except for my morning workout - I'll still accomplish that).

So, as the sun has set on this Monday, I am ever thankful that tomorrow is Tuesday...

NOT Monday.

Costume Persona (32/366)

Sunday February 5, 2012

Today... Super Bowl Sunday.

Go Giants!

Anyway, we went to our usual hangout for the big game.  The adult conversation is always great, and the kids... HAVE. A. BLAST.

This year, the kids decided to put costumes on and parade around the house acting out their new persona.

Hannah was a member of the S.W.A.T. team...

Ava tried one super hero...

And settled for Captain America...


It doesn't get much cuter than that, now does it??