Speak Your Mind! (38/366)

Friday February 10, 2012

James 1:19, 20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

We all want to do right by others. Especially those closest to us.  Yet, why do we hurt those we love?

It's true that we sometimes hurt those closest to us deeper than we would an acquaintance.

Sometimes passion, conviction, beliefs and even utter stupidity get in the way of logical thinking.

I have been known (notoriously) in my family for being the one that speaks without thinking, and usually ends up making the problem worse than it ever needed to be.  I use my emotions to speak, and I act on them.

In turn, it has taken double the time to mend relationships that have been broken because of this.  It has led to permanent emotional scars in some cases.  Of course, there are two sides to every story, and my emotional outbursts haven't always been totally to blame.

I have learned over time how to properly address a sensitive situation, while still being strong and standing my ground.

When we encounter a situation with someone we love - a sister, husband, friend, a parent - it's obviously always best to take the advice from our Father above and be "quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger..."

However, when emotions are in high gear, or if there is a feeling of shock or disbelief, it can be so easy to shoot off.  The skill of waiting to speak, and thinking first is a courtesy that takes practice to perfect.

I truly believe it is always the right thing to do to speak your mind.  Speak the truth. Stand your ground when it is important, defend the weak and helpless, defend yourself.  If the relationship is important enough to you, isn't it better to do this, than to cower away for fear of offending, or angering?

Timing is everything, so remember not to have this conversation if it's too soon, or the incident is too fresh - but you have to have the conversation sometime.  They will know where you stand, and all will be faced with some hard realizations.  Tough choices lie ahead and will determine if the relationship can withstand the trauma.  At least the line in the sand has been drawn, and the boundaries are set.

It's never best to sweep emotional issues under the rug.  Anger is destructive.  It's destructive to our health, our emotional state and our other relationships that are still in tact.  Unforgiveness should never be allowed in our hearts. Forgiving someone doesn't release them from their burden nearly as much as it releases you from yours, and can provide great healing to a hard heart.

Today I'm thankful for second chances (and sometimes third and fourth), and the ability to continue learning these lessons in life.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.” ~ Alexander Pope