I Think I'll Join the Kids (35/366)

Tuesday February 7, 2012

Tonight, I think I'll join the kids when they go to bed.  It's been a really long day.

Maybe I can enlist the help of my fellow Mom readers out there...

My daughter Ava (who will be 3 years old in a few weeks) is just giving me fits!  I've never seen anything like it, either from her or her big sister (who was next to perfect once she hit about 12 months old).  Read my blog post Flashbacks to Losing It for the background on that!

She is yelling - at me, at her sister, at her daddy.  She is screaming the word "NO!" at the top of her lungs.  She isn't really throwing temper tantrums, but it seems for the majority of the time she is awake, she is whining, screaming or crying about something.

She actually has me afraid at this point. 

We ran a pretty tight ship with Hannah when she grew out of her colic.  She has been an ANGEL.  We never had to discipline her (very rarely), and she most always listened after the first warning.

So when Ava was born, I think we were just so short-wired by all of the crying we experienced with Hannah that we inadvertently jumped whenever Ava cried - and we never stopped.  Maybe we just catered to her too much, and went too far in the other direction with our parenting.

Now, let me be fair and say that Hannah and Ava are two very different little girls.  They are each individual, and different from one another.  I realize that plays a factor into this as well.

So, with Ava's temper and her outbursts, I have made a VERY conscious effort to praise her when she does things well - which is often.  I have spoken in a calm, matter of fact way that she can understand.  I have repeatedly gotten down to her eye level and spoken to her as a person.  That works - about 10% of the time.

The other times, after all of that fails, I get tough as nails.  Laying down the law, and letting her know that her behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.  I make sure that she knows that I love her, even when I'm upset.  I think that's a very important aspect of things - maybe I'm saying it at the wrong time?

I've tried spankings, time outs, bribery (which I'm careful with because I have to follow through), taking things away, THROWING toys away... I'm trying to remember the rule to let the punishment fit the crime.  I'm trying not to stoop to her level.

I NEED YOUR ADVICE!

Have you ever had a strong willed child?  What has worked for you?

Please let me be clear, I am okay.  I'm not going off the deep end.  I know my mind and my tolerance level, and that's why I'm asking for help.  I am not afraid to do so -- I know that anyone reading this who has been in my shoes has probably experienced this and can help!

I'm also keeping into perspective that this is a phase. She is 3 for Pete's sake!  I am remembering that this comes with parenthood... although trying to keep the peace at home.

Your comments are more than welcomed.  I thank YOU in advance!