Well, not really yet. But Hannah did finally lose the other bottom tooth...
And like the other one, she was at her Bumpa & Gwi Gwi's ~
I missed it.
Again.
I got a text message at 2:00 on Saturday afternoon with Hannah's picture. The text read, "Hey Mama, it's Hannah. Notice anything missing?"
I was immediately bummed and excited for her - all at the same time.
I guess she was just wiggling, playing with it and it just popped out.
So from now on, when my kids have loose teeth, they're going to Bumpa & Gwi Gwi's. By the end of the weekend, those teeth will be out for sure!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Lonely (94/366)
So this JUST happened... and I had to write it down and share it.
Ava's in the tub and she ready to get out. So I go over, wash her up and wrap her in the bath towel.
She says, "Pick me up". I love cradling a freshly washed baby.
As we're leaving the bathroom to go to her bedroom for jammies, I say, "I just love my baby girl. Are you my baby girl?"
She says, "Yes - with a big cheesy grin."
Then she proceeds with, "Mommy, when I was on the vroom vroom (quad), I was far away from home. I was far away. Far, far away."
As we sit on her bed, me still cradling her, I respond with, "Yes, you were, but I was right here waiting for you to get home!"
Her comback, "I know Mommy. You never weave (leave) me. But when I was on the vroom vroom I was far, far away and I was wonewy (lonely)."
She has the most serious look in her eyes, but I know she is making this up as she goes.
I looked at her and we both busted out laughing!!! I told her she was such a goof, to which she replied, "I am not a goof, Mama! I am Ava Gracie!"
To which I replied with how so very much I love her.
Oh my gosh. She stole my heart again!
Ava's in the tub and she ready to get out. So I go over, wash her up and wrap her in the bath towel.
She says, "Pick me up". I love cradling a freshly washed baby.
As we're leaving the bathroom to go to her bedroom for jammies, I say, "I just love my baby girl. Are you my baby girl?"
She says, "Yes - with a big cheesy grin."
Then she proceeds with, "Mommy, when I was on the vroom vroom (quad), I was far away from home. I was far away. Far, far away."
As we sit on her bed, me still cradling her, I respond with, "Yes, you were, but I was right here waiting for you to get home!"
Her comback, "I know Mommy. You never weave (leave) me. But when I was on the vroom vroom I was far, far away and I was wonewy (lonely)."
She has the most serious look in her eyes, but I know she is making this up as she goes.
I looked at her and we both busted out laughing!!! I told her she was such a goof, to which she replied, "I am not a goof, Mama! I am Ava Gracie!"
To which I replied with how so very much I love her.
Oh my gosh. She stole my heart again!
A Brother's Love (93/366)
Two weeks ago, my older brother celebrated his birthday. On this day, I wished him a very happy day. He is so blessed in so many ways - and he returns those blessings on other people.
I've often thought about all he and I have been through over the years. Yes, I have two brothers, but my little brother's birthday isn't until August, so I'll save that post for, well, August!
My older brother and I are 3 years apart. Almost to the day.
I remember as a middle-schooler, he was a Freshman in High School and he always had the coolest clothes. Of course, he had a job to buy those clothes with. He delivered pizza with my mom's Geo Tracker - I still cannot forget the smell when we got into the car after he had been delivering pizzas for 6 hours the night before. Ewww!
Anyway, back to the clothes - he had this one pair of Guess jeans. I LOVED those jeans. At the time I was going through a "grungy" phase, so it seemed appropriate that I would wear his jeans that were a little too big for me, and had started ripping out in the knees. Every chance I got to put those jeans on I did. I'd wait until they were laying in the dirty laundry pile and wear them for days. When he finally realized they weren't clean and put back in his dresser, he figured out really quickly where they were. One day after school, he busted me! He got so mad and yelled, "Kris! If you don't take those jeans off right now I'll rip them off of you!" He got his jeans back... sometimes.
Then came High School for me. I want to say I was in 9th or 10th grade, which would make him either a senior, or just out of school. He was still delivering pizzas. And he had met a girl at work that he was CRAZY about! I mean NUTSO! But she had a boyfriend. Like a very long time boyfriend. As I was sitting in my room late on school nights, listening to music, he would come in to my room after he got out of work and ask me what he should do about this girl that had a boyfriend that he loved so much. All on his own, he put flowers on her car (she thanked her boyfriend for those... they weren't from him :\), he made mixed tapes for her (actually I did - he just took the credit), and eventually bought her a promise ring when she finally agreed to go on a date with him. Of course, she and her boyfriend had broken up by this point, and my brother seized the moment. I'm pretty sure he gave her that promise ring before they were even "official". I told him he was crazy and rushing things. He didn't listen.
He proposed to her on Bozeman Mountain in Montana on a vacation they took with some of their friends. She had bought brand new, not broken in hiking boots before the trip and was crippled with blisters. When he asked her to walk just feet from where she was resting (to a more scenic view), she yelled at him! They have this on video tape. When she finally conceded (he's stubborn and didn't give up), he got down on one knee and proposed. She cried, he cried, their friends cried - we cried when we saw the video.
This fall marks their 12th wedding anniversary. They have 3 year old twin daughters, and another miracle baby on the way. He is an amazing daddy and husband (still no lack of stubbornness).
Through the years, we've been in different places - and we've grown apart some. But not in a bad way. We just both have our own lives and very busy schedules. He is good friends with my husband and the four of us (before kids) had some AMAZINGLY FUN times together.
As you know, I didn't grow up with a sister. As life goes on, it doesn't really matter. I like my brothers. They're all I know. And I know that now, in (almost) mid-life, there's no distance or circumstance that can keep us from being there for each other in the most important, troubling, special, happy, sad or what may you times.
Happy Birthday Old Man Brother! I hope it was happy, and blessed. You are such a blessing to so many, including your little sister! Thanks for everything - I love you.
I've often thought about all he and I have been through over the years. Yes, I have two brothers, but my little brother's birthday isn't until August, so I'll save that post for, well, August!
My older brother and I are 3 years apart. Almost to the day.
I remember as a middle-schooler, he was a Freshman in High School and he always had the coolest clothes. Of course, he had a job to buy those clothes with. He delivered pizza with my mom's Geo Tracker - I still cannot forget the smell when we got into the car after he had been delivering pizzas for 6 hours the night before. Ewww!
Anyway, back to the clothes - he had this one pair of Guess jeans. I LOVED those jeans. At the time I was going through a "grungy" phase, so it seemed appropriate that I would wear his jeans that were a little too big for me, and had started ripping out in the knees. Every chance I got to put those jeans on I did. I'd wait until they were laying in the dirty laundry pile and wear them for days. When he finally realized they weren't clean and put back in his dresser, he figured out really quickly where they were. One day after school, he busted me! He got so mad and yelled, "Kris! If you don't take those jeans off right now I'll rip them off of you!" He got his jeans back... sometimes.
Then came High School for me. I want to say I was in 9th or 10th grade, which would make him either a senior, or just out of school. He was still delivering pizzas. And he had met a girl at work that he was CRAZY about! I mean NUTSO! But she had a boyfriend. Like a very long time boyfriend. As I was sitting in my room late on school nights, listening to music, he would come in to my room after he got out of work and ask me what he should do about this girl that had a boyfriend that he loved so much. All on his own, he put flowers on her car (she thanked her boyfriend for those... they weren't from him :\), he made mixed tapes for her (actually I did - he just took the credit), and eventually bought her a promise ring when she finally agreed to go on a date with him. Of course, she and her boyfriend had broken up by this point, and my brother seized the moment. I'm pretty sure he gave her that promise ring before they were even "official". I told him he was crazy and rushing things. He didn't listen.
He proposed to her on Bozeman Mountain in Montana on a vacation they took with some of their friends. She had bought brand new, not broken in hiking boots before the trip and was crippled with blisters. When he asked her to walk just feet from where she was resting (to a more scenic view), she yelled at him! They have this on video tape. When she finally conceded (he's stubborn and didn't give up), he got down on one knee and proposed. She cried, he cried, their friends cried - we cried when we saw the video.
This fall marks their 12th wedding anniversary. They have 3 year old twin daughters, and another miracle baby on the way. He is an amazing daddy and husband (still no lack of stubbornness).
Through the years, we've been in different places - and we've grown apart some. But not in a bad way. We just both have our own lives and very busy schedules. He is good friends with my husband and the four of us (before kids) had some AMAZINGLY FUN times together.
As you know, I didn't grow up with a sister. As life goes on, it doesn't really matter. I like my brothers. They're all I know. And I know that now, in (almost) mid-life, there's no distance or circumstance that can keep us from being there for each other in the most important, troubling, special, happy, sad or what may you times.
Happy Birthday Old Man Brother! I hope it was happy, and blessed. You are such a blessing to so many, including your little sister! Thanks for everything - I love you.
A Brief Hiatus (92/366)
Tuesday April 17, 2012
I realize it has been almost 2 weeks since I blogged last. A lot has been going on here and I haven't had the time or the energy to blog. Thus, my goal of blogging every day for a year has failed.
That's a really tall order.
Nonetheless, I thought I could do it.
I'm not going to be too terribly hard on myself for not making it... I can try again. I will keep blogging when I have the time. I may pick back up and publish some of the things I have written while I was taking a break, but I'll need to think about that. Thank you for reading...
There are a lot of issues being talked about right now - one of them very near and dear to my heart ~
Stay-at-home-moms and their value in this world.
I think this is a great debate. I have been on both sides of the table and currently I am the stay-at-home variety.
But not by choice. Let me explain:
Before I had kids, my heart long desired to be a stay-at-home mom. After I had my first daughter, the very first night, I knew I could never do it. So, I was happy working 40-50 hours a week, the daycare we chose for the girls was top-notch and absolutely amazing (no, not the Taj Mahal, but two sweet little old ladies who had been in childcare their whole lives, and were MIRACLE WORKERS with the patience of Job ~ they were SO good with my "special" colicky babies).
3 years ago, I quit my job (that I LOVED) of 8 years to pursue an opportunity with a different company (who, in fact, pursued me). Four months into that new job, I found out I was pregnant with my second baby. I was on part time disability for most of the pregnancy, and suffered severe postpartum depression after she was born, and I was off work for 4 months. When I returned to work, I was rejuvenated, energized and rocking my job. 6 weeks after my return to work, I was called in to the boss' office on a Wednesday morning at 10:30 am. I was told that they were shrinking their sales force and enlarging their territories, so I was out. I cried, my manager cried, and the HR Manager that was there cried. It was a hard day. I was put in a position without choice, still recovering from PPD, and it. was. tough. And that's putting it mildly.
Nonetheless, I struck out, eager to find new work. In the late summer/fall of 2009, this was NOT an easy task. The unemployment rate was sky high, and there were hundreds of thousands of people in my same boat. I was applying for all kinds of work - but knowing that I needed a certain income to cover daycare costs, and replace the company vehicle and gas that I had just lost. I was repeatedly turned down. My resume matched some of those job descriptions to a T, yet they hired a "candidate whose qualifications more closely match the position". So, I took this as sign.
Eventually I found my way at home. We had playdates, I struggled to juggle the housework, the bills, the groceries, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, the errands, the kids ~ sick and healthy, myself ~ sick and healthy, grandparents, evening events, sports, dance, school, friends, family and everything in-between. Remember, I didn't have a husband at home during the week - it was just me and the girls. All day. Every day. I did, however, have a TON of help from my parents, my in-laws who live close, my friends (with and without kids) - I knew that whatever I needed I just had to ask for it. And I did.
Yet I still searched for work. To no avail. I was told on numerous occasions how blessed I was to be able to stay at home and what an incredible value that would add to my girls' lives. I was told how I could never get this time back, never ever ever and how absolutely precious it was. I kept thinking, "Are they 10 & 13 yet, or 18 & 15? Time! Would 'ja hurry up?!"
Here I am, 3 years later, and I'm still not adjusted. I often wonder how I ever did it. Take all of those "duties" listed above "the housework, the bills, the groceries, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, the errands, the kids ~ sick and healthy, myself ~ sick and healthy, grandparents, evening events, sports, dance, school, friends, family and everything in-between" and add 40-50 hours of work to it. Sure, some things suffered while I was working, and others suffer while I am at home.
Like me.
I don't wear makeup everyday, I don't do my hair everyday. No, I don't stay in my pajamas - I actually shower and get dressed, but I don't wear heels anymore, or black dress pants and blouses. While I was working, the housework suffered (a little). It's a give and take. It's about priorities.
During neither phase of my life ~ working or not ~ have my kids suffered. They were in a wonderful daycare with caregivers that loved them as if they were their own. And at home, they're with their Mama. And they looooooove their Mama. So so very much. And they tell me every day just how much. Sometimes they'll even tell me that they don't, just so I'll tell them that I do, and how much, and we laugh and giggle and tickle until we hug and kiss. Sometimes the girls argue over who loves me the most.
I'm okay with that.
I don't want to get into the debate over which is better - stay at home moms or working moms. I don't think it matters. The commonality that those two titles have is the word "MOM". Some of us don't have a choice but to work, because our household requires the income. Some of us don't have the choice but to be at home, because the economy is not kind. Others choose to work, and are perfectly happy with daycare or family members helping out with childcare. And I don't think our kids are any worse or better off for that. Some women choose to stay at home and they base their budgets and lifestyles around that choice. I don't think our kids are any worse or better off for that choice either.
You can look at statistics all day long. It doesn't really matter, does it? If we, as moms, put forth our best effort every minute of every day (ok, yes, sometimes I take breaks too) whether we're working or at home, won't our kids turn out however they're going to turn out? I'm not a worse mom because I'm at home everyday with my girls. I wasn't a better mom when I was working full time.
I am the same mom that I have been since my daughters we born. The same.
The same loving, caring, disciplining, nurturing and amazingly protective mom. It is up to me to find the best care for them ~ whether it's me or someone else doing the "caring". It's up to me, as their parent ~ working or not ~ to ensure a proper upbringing for them.
I've been on both sides. There are positives and negatives on both sides. My neighbor's situation is different than mine. My girlfriend's lives are different than mine. Everyone has their own unique situation and they base their decision (whether it's their choice or not, in my case) on the solution that's best for their family.
No one should judge that choice. We should appreciate one another for where we are, and who we are.
We should celebrate each other as mothers.
I realize it has been almost 2 weeks since I blogged last. A lot has been going on here and I haven't had the time or the energy to blog. Thus, my goal of blogging every day for a year has failed.
That's a really tall order.
Nonetheless, I thought I could do it.
I'm not going to be too terribly hard on myself for not making it... I can try again. I will keep blogging when I have the time. I may pick back up and publish some of the things I have written while I was taking a break, but I'll need to think about that. Thank you for reading...
There are a lot of issues being talked about right now - one of them very near and dear to my heart ~
Stay-at-home-moms and their value in this world.
I think this is a great debate. I have been on both sides of the table and currently I am the stay-at-home variety.
But not by choice. Let me explain:
Before I had kids, my heart long desired to be a stay-at-home mom. After I had my first daughter, the very first night, I knew I could never do it. So, I was happy working 40-50 hours a week, the daycare we chose for the girls was top-notch and absolutely amazing (no, not the Taj Mahal, but two sweet little old ladies who had been in childcare their whole lives, and were MIRACLE WORKERS with the patience of Job ~ they were SO good with my "special" colicky babies).
3 years ago, I quit my job (that I LOVED) of 8 years to pursue an opportunity with a different company (who, in fact, pursued me). Four months into that new job, I found out I was pregnant with my second baby. I was on part time disability for most of the pregnancy, and suffered severe postpartum depression after she was born, and I was off work for 4 months. When I returned to work, I was rejuvenated, energized and rocking my job. 6 weeks after my return to work, I was called in to the boss' office on a Wednesday morning at 10:30 am. I was told that they were shrinking their sales force and enlarging their territories, so I was out. I cried, my manager cried, and the HR Manager that was there cried. It was a hard day. I was put in a position without choice, still recovering from PPD, and it. was. tough. And that's putting it mildly.
Nonetheless, I struck out, eager to find new work. In the late summer/fall of 2009, this was NOT an easy task. The unemployment rate was sky high, and there were hundreds of thousands of people in my same boat. I was applying for all kinds of work - but knowing that I needed a certain income to cover daycare costs, and replace the company vehicle and gas that I had just lost. I was repeatedly turned down. My resume matched some of those job descriptions to a T, yet they hired a "candidate whose qualifications more closely match the position". So, I took this as sign.
Eventually I found my way at home. We had playdates, I struggled to juggle the housework, the bills, the groceries, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, the errands, the kids ~ sick and healthy, myself ~ sick and healthy, grandparents, evening events, sports, dance, school, friends, family and everything in-between. Remember, I didn't have a husband at home during the week - it was just me and the girls. All day. Every day. I did, however, have a TON of help from my parents, my in-laws who live close, my friends (with and without kids) - I knew that whatever I needed I just had to ask for it. And I did.
Yet I still searched for work. To no avail. I was told on numerous occasions how blessed I was to be able to stay at home and what an incredible value that would add to my girls' lives. I was told how I could never get this time back, never ever ever and how absolutely precious it was. I kept thinking, "Are they 10 & 13 yet, or 18 & 15? Time! Would 'ja hurry up?!"
Here I am, 3 years later, and I'm still not adjusted. I often wonder how I ever did it. Take all of those "duties" listed above "the housework, the bills, the groceries, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, the errands, the kids ~ sick and healthy, myself ~ sick and healthy, grandparents, evening events, sports, dance, school, friends, family and everything in-between" and add 40-50 hours of work to it. Sure, some things suffered while I was working, and others suffer while I am at home.
Like me.
I don't wear makeup everyday, I don't do my hair everyday. No, I don't stay in my pajamas - I actually shower and get dressed, but I don't wear heels anymore, or black dress pants and blouses. While I was working, the housework suffered (a little). It's a give and take. It's about priorities.
During neither phase of my life ~ working or not ~ have my kids suffered. They were in a wonderful daycare with caregivers that loved them as if they were their own. And at home, they're with their Mama. And they looooooove their Mama. So so very much. And they tell me every day just how much. Sometimes they'll even tell me that they don't, just so I'll tell them that I do, and how much, and we laugh and giggle and tickle until we hug and kiss. Sometimes the girls argue over who loves me the most.
I'm okay with that.
I don't want to get into the debate over which is better - stay at home moms or working moms. I don't think it matters. The commonality that those two titles have is the word "MOM". Some of us don't have a choice but to work, because our household requires the income. Some of us don't have the choice but to be at home, because the economy is not kind. Others choose to work, and are perfectly happy with daycare or family members helping out with childcare. And I don't think our kids are any worse or better off for that. Some women choose to stay at home and they base their budgets and lifestyles around that choice. I don't think our kids are any worse or better off for that choice either.
You can look at statistics all day long. It doesn't really matter, does it? If we, as moms, put forth our best effort every minute of every day (ok, yes, sometimes I take breaks too) whether we're working or at home, won't our kids turn out however they're going to turn out? I'm not a worse mom because I'm at home everyday with my girls. I wasn't a better mom when I was working full time.
I am the same mom that I have been since my daughters we born. The same.
The same loving, caring, disciplining, nurturing and amazingly protective mom. It is up to me to find the best care for them ~ whether it's me or someone else doing the "caring". It's up to me, as their parent ~ working or not ~ to ensure a proper upbringing for them.
I've been on both sides. There are positives and negatives on both sides. My neighbor's situation is different than mine. My girlfriend's lives are different than mine. Everyone has their own unique situation and they base their decision (whether it's their choice or not, in my case) on the solution that's best for their family.
No one should judge that choice. We should appreciate one another for where we are, and who we are.
We should celebrate each other as mothers.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Losing Everything (91/366)
Tuesday April 3, 2012
What's important in life is different with each person you ask. In the scheme of life, it changes as the years pass. From your family, to your personal goals, to your spouse, to your house, to your kids and on, it will change.
It also changes as the circumstances in life change.
An illness, big health care bills, loss of a spouse or job, or just plain 'ol big life changes - these can all affect how we view what's important.
Lately, more & more American families have had to review what is most important in their lives. From the horrific storms in the Midwest and South, to the crumbling economy, many are facing the loss of... everything.
While we experience these tragedies in life, we take stock of what we have left, and what we are to do with what's left.
We look at our current, dire situation and think of where we were just 24 hours, two weeks or 2 years ago and it. is. crushing. No matter how we got to where we are now, we're here, and there's no other option but to go on.
How we handle loss differs from person to person as well. Many choose to pray for answers, and hope. Others can be quite destructive in their grief, compounding the most already devastating situation. No matter how we deal with it, the situation still exists, and we must go through it.
Getting through times like these in life is much easier said than done. We cannot do it alone. We need other people to lean on, to give advice, to listen. We need others with certain skills based on their own life experiences, we need them to be non-judgemental and love us - no matter where we are, or how we got there. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel... I've been there with my own experiences, and at times it seemed impossible.
Sometimes, just a smile, a nice gesture, an understanding nod, a phone call just to say "Hi" are all that are needed to brighten someone's day. We never know what our neighbor, our parents, our co-worker or brother or sister are going through. We don't need to know details. We don't need to know personal things that some like to keep private. We need to remember that in all times in life, someone you meet everyday is looking at the sure fact that they are going to lose everything.
Those gestures and smiles will help to remind them that everything really isn't everything. Yeah, we've all heard, "At least you have your health," or "At least you still have your family." While these may seem cliche at the time they're said, it's true. We've all heard the saying that when God closes one door, He opens another. If we all look back on our lives, there have been tough times for all of us that seemed insurmountable. Somehow we made it through and our lives took a turn that brought us to where we are today. Do you remember the shoulder you cried on? Do you remember the person who sat on the phone with you, pumping you full of hope and promise? Do you remember the bible verses that gave you renewed faith?
These are the things we need to pass on to others in their time of need. Sometimes they ask for help, but not everyone is comfortable doing so. Sometimes we just need to stop being so focused on our own lives (especially when things are good) and look to others and see the signs. Make gestures that aren't provoked by request. Send a note, snail mail, to someone telling them you're thinking about them. Call them, even if you have to leave a voice mail, and don't expect a call back. Answer the phone when they do call, and set aside time to just listen.
There are so many people right now that are in the midst of losing everything. If you're reading this and you're one of them, just know that there is a dry side to that lake that's drowning you right now. There's hope for your future. There are better things just waiting for you to grab.
It's life.
It happens.
Just hang on to what you do have (it's NOT nothing - each one of us has something left) and know that you aren't losing everything. Try to focus on what your everything is right now.
Today I'm thankful that I've learned how to see what I have left - to see the blessing through tragedy. Though not always easy, I've come a long way in not wallowing in my sorrows.
Here are lyrics to a song I want you to read. I have seen these lyrics posted SO many times recently. Just read them, pray them and feel them.
We pray for blessings
What's important in life is different with each person you ask. In the scheme of life, it changes as the years pass. From your family, to your personal goals, to your spouse, to your house, to your kids and on, it will change.
It also changes as the circumstances in life change.
An illness, big health care bills, loss of a spouse or job, or just plain 'ol big life changes - these can all affect how we view what's important.
Lately, more & more American families have had to review what is most important in their lives. From the horrific storms in the Midwest and South, to the crumbling economy, many are facing the loss of... everything.
While we experience these tragedies in life, we take stock of what we have left, and what we are to do with what's left.
We look at our current, dire situation and think of where we were just 24 hours, two weeks or 2 years ago and it. is. crushing. No matter how we got to where we are now, we're here, and there's no other option but to go on.
How we handle loss differs from person to person as well. Many choose to pray for answers, and hope. Others can be quite destructive in their grief, compounding the most already devastating situation. No matter how we deal with it, the situation still exists, and we must go through it.
Getting through times like these in life is much easier said than done. We cannot do it alone. We need other people to lean on, to give advice, to listen. We need others with certain skills based on their own life experiences, we need them to be non-judgemental and love us - no matter where we are, or how we got there. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel... I've been there with my own experiences, and at times it seemed impossible.
Sometimes, just a smile, a nice gesture, an understanding nod, a phone call just to say "Hi" are all that are needed to brighten someone's day. We never know what our neighbor, our parents, our co-worker or brother or sister are going through. We don't need to know details. We don't need to know personal things that some like to keep private. We need to remember that in all times in life, someone you meet everyday is looking at the sure fact that they are going to lose everything.
Those gestures and smiles will help to remind them that everything really isn't everything. Yeah, we've all heard, "At least you have your health," or "At least you still have your family." While these may seem cliche at the time they're said, it's true. We've all heard the saying that when God closes one door, He opens another. If we all look back on our lives, there have been tough times for all of us that seemed insurmountable. Somehow we made it through and our lives took a turn that brought us to where we are today. Do you remember the shoulder you cried on? Do you remember the person who sat on the phone with you, pumping you full of hope and promise? Do you remember the bible verses that gave you renewed faith?
These are the things we need to pass on to others in their time of need. Sometimes they ask for help, but not everyone is comfortable doing so. Sometimes we just need to stop being so focused on our own lives (especially when things are good) and look to others and see the signs. Make gestures that aren't provoked by request. Send a note, snail mail, to someone telling them you're thinking about them. Call them, even if you have to leave a voice mail, and don't expect a call back. Answer the phone when they do call, and set aside time to just listen.
There are so many people right now that are in the midst of losing everything. If you're reading this and you're one of them, just know that there is a dry side to that lake that's drowning you right now. There's hope for your future. There are better things just waiting for you to grab.
It's life.
It happens.
Just hang on to what you do have (it's NOT nothing - each one of us has something left) and know that you aren't losing everything. Try to focus on what your everything is right now.
Today I'm thankful that I've learned how to see what I have left - to see the blessing through tragedy. Though not always easy, I've come a long way in not wallowing in my sorrows.
Here are lyrics to a song I want you to read. I have seen these lyrics posted SO many times recently. Just read them, pray them and feel them.
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
Can I Borrow Your Hat? (90/366)
Monday April 2, 2012
Often times in life we have a role to play and we get very comfortable with that role.
Wife, Mother, Colleague, Employee, CEO, Father, etc.
We tend to pick one "dominant" role and in the meantime we forget the incredible number of other roles we actually do play on a daily basis.
I find this fascinating... especially on an exhausting day when I feel I can do no more, and another 3 hours have passed without my notice because I've been role playing some more.
I also find this hard to believe as my roles change on a regular basis.
Normally, my two biggest roles are Mom and Dad - from Monday to Friday while my husband is at work, out of state and not to return until the weekend.
Lately, I've had to scale back the role of Dad as my daughters' daddy is home every night after work due to a rare, and short-lived stint working close to home.
While I have grown accustomed to playing both of these roles (I've been doing it for almost 4 years now), it is difficult to make the switch back to normalcy. I've wondered for quite some time what normalcy is - for us, it's different than most. As I've stated before, I am a Married Single Mother.
Using that title, I would never want to take the glory away from true single parents as I believe they have an incredible gift that only others in their shoes can even begin to understand.
A true single parent doesn't have their spouse just a phone call away, as I do.
A true single parent rarely gets breaks, as I get breaks when I ask for help, or when my better half is home on the weekend.
A true single parent must rely on their own resources to fund the household and support their children - my husband does that for us (bless his heart).
A true single parent has (hopefully, if you're doing it right) found the joy in leading the many roles they must play, with no end in sight, no help in sight, no relief in sight.
Let's be honest, parenting is the most challenging role we will ever play in our entire lives. It's harder than being a spouse, or employee, or CEO. We have these little tiny lives in our hands that we must mold and shape into beautiful, functioning adults. There is no task greater than that in my opinion.
I have good days and bad days. Often times I will call my husband at the end of one of those bad days to vent. But he's not here so I can imagine it is incredibly hard for him to help, if even over the phone. Many two-parent households have the gift of coming home at the end of those types of days and holding each other, comforting face-to-face, and sharing laughter to try to wipe away the day's hardships.
Single parents don't get that.
All they have is themselves, and those little tiny lives they are entrusted with to raise up. They must mask the feelings of defeat, hurt, frustration, anger, sadness and overwhelming exhaustion to appear strong and capable to the little people looking to them every second of every day to learn how to be, how to live.
My good days far outnumber the bad, but even if you have that comfort of your partner that walks through the door each evening after a long day, we all have bad parenting days. Whether you stay at home with your kids, or you hold down a job, we all have bad days. Days when we feel we are the worst parent in the whole world and we ask why God would trust someone like me with these precious children.
Our common ground as parents, single or two-parent houses, is that we just keep going. We look to the next 5 minutes to be better than the last, and the next day to refresh and renew us to try again. We must put on the hat of courage and look forward to doing it better. Being a parent is incredibly challenging... and uber-incredibly rewarding.
The rewards are watching our children fill with joy when they accomplish something new or difficult. The rewards are in the good days, when everything falls into place. And selfishly, the rewards are the feelings of accomplishment and pride we as parents get at the end of those good days.
It's hard to remember how many roles we play in a single day. I can count numerous roles in my own day, but I consider myself less of a "Super Mom" than some of my friends around me. Don't get me wrong, I find great value in what I do, and it shows in my children. But sometimes when I look around I wonder, "How does she do that?!" It's hard not to compare ourselves with other parents as we look around, but everyone plays different roles based on their family's needs. I've found that over recent months I've had to scale back on the amount of comparing I am actually doing. It's not fair, mostly to myself, that I take this role or that role and ask why I can't do them.
Another role we must remember to play, as if we need another, is ourselves. Let's not lose our own identity in the hustle & bustle of playing the million other roles each day. Remember to take time for yourself - real good quality time. A good workout, a new hairdo (without the kids waiting in the chair next to you), a night out with friends or even a short vacation with friends (minus the kids) - all of these things will refresh and at times reinvent the parent you are. I've written about it before, but it's amazing what a nice hard break from parenting will do to your morale and abilities as a parent, single or otherwise.
I could go on & on, but for fear of losing you to my ramble and knowing you are smart readers and get the point I'm trying to make, I will conclude by saying that I am thankful for the many hats I wear. Some hats get worn and must be thrown away. Sometimes, we must borrow a hat from a friend, and most often, as life changes and evolves, we get new hats. Being a parent has been the most challenging, rewarding and eye-opening experience I've ever had. And I will be a parent for the rest of my kids' lives - and hopefully continue to grow and change.
The proof will be in my children when they're grown. So far so good.
Wife, Mother, Colleague, Employee, CEO, Father, etc.
We tend to pick one "dominant" role and in the meantime we forget the incredible number of other roles we actually do play on a daily basis.
I find this fascinating... especially on an exhausting day when I feel I can do no more, and another 3 hours have passed without my notice because I've been role playing some more.
I also find this hard to believe as my roles change on a regular basis.
Normally, my two biggest roles are Mom and Dad - from Monday to Friday while my husband is at work, out of state and not to return until the weekend.
Lately, I've had to scale back the role of Dad as my daughters' daddy is home every night after work due to a rare, and short-lived stint working close to home.
While I have grown accustomed to playing both of these roles (I've been doing it for almost 4 years now), it is difficult to make the switch back to normalcy. I've wondered for quite some time what normalcy is - for us, it's different than most. As I've stated before, I am a Married Single Mother.
Using that title, I would never want to take the glory away from true single parents as I believe they have an incredible gift that only others in their shoes can even begin to understand.
A true single parent doesn't have their spouse just a phone call away, as I do.
A true single parent rarely gets breaks, as I get breaks when I ask for help, or when my better half is home on the weekend.
A true single parent must rely on their own resources to fund the household and support their children - my husband does that for us (bless his heart).
A true single parent has (hopefully, if you're doing it right) found the joy in leading the many roles they must play, with no end in sight, no help in sight, no relief in sight.
Let's be honest, parenting is the most challenging role we will ever play in our entire lives. It's harder than being a spouse, or employee, or CEO. We have these little tiny lives in our hands that we must mold and shape into beautiful, functioning adults. There is no task greater than that in my opinion.
I have good days and bad days. Often times I will call my husband at the end of one of those bad days to vent. But he's not here so I can imagine it is incredibly hard for him to help, if even over the phone. Many two-parent households have the gift of coming home at the end of those types of days and holding each other, comforting face-to-face, and sharing laughter to try to wipe away the day's hardships.
Single parents don't get that.
All they have is themselves, and those little tiny lives they are entrusted with to raise up. They must mask the feelings of defeat, hurt, frustration, anger, sadness and overwhelming exhaustion to appear strong and capable to the little people looking to them every second of every day to learn how to be, how to live.
My good days far outnumber the bad, but even if you have that comfort of your partner that walks through the door each evening after a long day, we all have bad parenting days. Whether you stay at home with your kids, or you hold down a job, we all have bad days. Days when we feel we are the worst parent in the whole world and we ask why God would trust someone like me with these precious children.
Our common ground as parents, single or two-parent houses, is that we just keep going. We look to the next 5 minutes to be better than the last, and the next day to refresh and renew us to try again. We must put on the hat of courage and look forward to doing it better. Being a parent is incredibly challenging... and uber-incredibly rewarding.
The rewards are watching our children fill with joy when they accomplish something new or difficult. The rewards are in the good days, when everything falls into place. And selfishly, the rewards are the feelings of accomplishment and pride we as parents get at the end of those good days.
It's hard to remember how many roles we play in a single day. I can count numerous roles in my own day, but I consider myself less of a "Super Mom" than some of my friends around me. Don't get me wrong, I find great value in what I do, and it shows in my children. But sometimes when I look around I wonder, "How does she do that?!" It's hard not to compare ourselves with other parents as we look around, but everyone plays different roles based on their family's needs. I've found that over recent months I've had to scale back on the amount of comparing I am actually doing. It's not fair, mostly to myself, that I take this role or that role and ask why I can't do them.
Another role we must remember to play, as if we need another, is ourselves. Let's not lose our own identity in the hustle & bustle of playing the million other roles each day. Remember to take time for yourself - real good quality time. A good workout, a new hairdo (without the kids waiting in the chair next to you), a night out with friends or even a short vacation with friends (minus the kids) - all of these things will refresh and at times reinvent the parent you are. I've written about it before, but it's amazing what a nice hard break from parenting will do to your morale and abilities as a parent, single or otherwise.
I could go on & on, but for fear of losing you to my ramble and knowing you are smart readers and get the point I'm trying to make, I will conclude by saying that I am thankful for the many hats I wear. Some hats get worn and must be thrown away. Sometimes, we must borrow a hat from a friend, and most often, as life changes and evolves, we get new hats. Being a parent has been the most challenging, rewarding and eye-opening experience I've ever had. And I will be a parent for the rest of my kids' lives - and hopefully continue to grow and change.
The proof will be in my children when they're grown. So far so good.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Up And Coming (89/366)
Sunday April 1, 2012
I'd like to let you know of a few posts that I have in the works to publish soon.
Some of these subjects are near and dear to me, some are near and dear to others who have expressed concern to me of certain areas of their lives - and I have some perspective on those areas.
Step Moms - A Surprise Blessing
An Excerpt From My Childhood Diary
My Plate Is Full! But I've Room For Dessert...
Unplug Your Plug In
I've been working on these for some time, and as they are completed I will publish them. This is part of the new direction I am taking with this blog.
I am very excited about the new direction, but I will say I probably picked the wrong week to make it happen.
With Spring Break starting tomorrow, I will have both kids at home with me all day. I won't have one in school and one napping - which is when I usually write.
So, I will do my best, but in the meantime will keep plugging away at these topics. I've received a lot of feedback already (all positive) on the new direction, and I appreciate the loyal readers.
Today, I'm thankful that my brain has clicked on - as far as writing goes. I'm so excited and inspired by the feedback and suggestions I have received.
I'd like to let you know of a few posts that I have in the works to publish soon.
Some of these subjects are near and dear to me, some are near and dear to others who have expressed concern to me of certain areas of their lives - and I have some perspective on those areas.
Step Moms - A Surprise Blessing
An Excerpt From My Childhood Diary
My Plate Is Full! But I've Room For Dessert...
Unplug Your Plug In
I've been working on these for some time, and as they are completed I will publish them. This is part of the new direction I am taking with this blog.
I am very excited about the new direction, but I will say I probably picked the wrong week to make it happen.
With Spring Break starting tomorrow, I will have both kids at home with me all day. I won't have one in school and one napping - which is when I usually write.
So, I will do my best, but in the meantime will keep plugging away at these topics. I've received a lot of feedback already (all positive) on the new direction, and I appreciate the loyal readers.
Today, I'm thankful that my brain has clicked on - as far as writing goes. I'm so excited and inspired by the feedback and suggestions I have received.
I'm Ready (88/366)
Saturday March 31, 2012
I'm ready.
I don't know what has taken me so long. The list of excuses is a mile long.
But I am SOOO ready.
One thing that's hard for some women to talk about (myself included) is our WEIGHT.
I've shared in the past just how much weight I gained, lost, and then gained again throughout both of my pregnancies. I don't blame the fact that I was pregnant. I blame the fact that I used my pregnant condition to eat everything in sight.
For 10 months.
Both times.
Before I had kids, I never needed to work out, or watch what I ate. I was a comfortable 125 before I got married.
After I got married, I gained the Freshman 10... Most people gain the Freshman 15 in their first year of college. I gained mine the first year of marriage - at the ripe old age of 21.
But I was still very comfortable.
So, 7 years has passed since I was first pregnant, and I have never gone back to that weight.
But the point of this post is to say that I am ready.
We aren't having any more kids. There's no more excuses or reasons for me to NOT lose these last few (or more) pounds.
Last year at this time, I lost 30 pounds all on my own through working out, eating better and ZUMBA - I love Zumba! Who doesn't have 1 hour to kill 1,000 calories or more? It's so much fun!!
I kept those pounds off, and have lost another 10-ish in the year since.
Starting next Monday, I am back to the treadmill, Zumba, and just having an overall active life.
It won't hurt that we are getting our new puppy in 2 weeks!!
So, wish me luck, and keep the encouragement coming. I'm in the home stretch, and I'm hoping this year will be the best year yet - and every year after this will be a little easier.
Today, I'm thankful for a renewed sense of motivation, and for the motivation I will receive from others when I feel I have none.
I'm ready.
I don't know what has taken me so long. The list of excuses is a mile long.
But I am SOOO ready.
One thing that's hard for some women to talk about (myself included) is our WEIGHT.
I've shared in the past just how much weight I gained, lost, and then gained again throughout both of my pregnancies. I don't blame the fact that I was pregnant. I blame the fact that I used my pregnant condition to eat everything in sight.
For 10 months.
Both times.
Before I had kids, I never needed to work out, or watch what I ate. I was a comfortable 125 before I got married.
After I got married, I gained the Freshman 10... Most people gain the Freshman 15 in their first year of college. I gained mine the first year of marriage - at the ripe old age of 21.
But I was still very comfortable.
So, 7 years has passed since I was first pregnant, and I have never gone back to that weight.
But the point of this post is to say that I am ready.
We aren't having any more kids. There's no more excuses or reasons for me to NOT lose these last few (or more) pounds.
Last year at this time, I lost 30 pounds all on my own through working out, eating better and ZUMBA - I love Zumba! Who doesn't have 1 hour to kill 1,000 calories or more? It's so much fun!!
I kept those pounds off, and have lost another 10-ish in the year since.
Starting next Monday, I am back to the treadmill, Zumba, and just having an overall active life.
It won't hurt that we are getting our new puppy in 2 weeks!!
So, wish me luck, and keep the encouragement coming. I'm in the home stretch, and I'm hoping this year will be the best year yet - and every year after this will be a little easier.
Today, I'm thankful for a renewed sense of motivation, and for the motivation I will receive from others when I feel I have none.
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