I'm Ready (88/366)

Saturday March 31, 2012

I'm ready.

I don't know what has taken me so long.  The list of excuses is a mile long.

But I am SOOO ready.

One thing that's hard for some women to talk about (myself included) is our WEIGHT.

I've shared in the past just how much weight I gained, lost, and then gained again throughout both of my pregnancies.  I don't blame the fact that I was pregnant.  I blame the fact that I used my pregnant condition to eat everything in sight.

For 10 months.

Both times.

Before I had kids, I never needed to work out, or watch what I ate.  I was a comfortable 125 before I got married.

After I got married, I gained the Freshman 10... Most people gain the Freshman 15 in their first year of college.  I gained mine the first year of marriage - at the ripe old age of 21.

But I was still very comfortable.

So, 7 years has passed since I was first pregnant, and I have never gone back to that weight.

But the point of this post is to say that I am ready. 

We aren't having any more kids.  There's no more excuses or reasons for me to NOT lose these last few (or more) pounds.

Last year at this time, I lost 30 pounds all on my own through working out, eating better and ZUMBA - I love Zumba!  Who doesn't have 1 hour to kill 1,000 calories or more?  It's so much fun!!

I kept those pounds off, and have lost another 10-ish in the year since. 

Starting next Monday, I am back to the treadmill, Zumba, and just having an overall active life.

It won't hurt that we are getting our new puppy in 2 weeks!!

So, wish me luck, and keep the encouragement coming.  I'm in the home stretch, and I'm hoping this year will be the best year yet - and every year after this will be a little easier.

Today, I'm thankful for a renewed sense of motivation, and for the motivation I will receive from others when I feel I have none.

I worked out so hard my skin tingles...

I just got off the treadmill.  I was only on it for 38 minutes.  I burned (according to the treadmill) 455 calories.  And I'm not done yet...

I discovered there's something I like to do on the treadmill - - - - - - -

R-U-N.

I worked out today while my kids were awake.  Usually I do it while they're still in bed in the morning.  But today, I slept in till 7 so I didn't want the morning to be rushed.  I figured I'd take a shot at working out while they're playing so nicely together this afternoon.

Let me preface this by saying my "workout room" is in the basement.  The main room in the basement is split into two halves - one half has my treadmill and Bowflex, while the other half (or 3/4, whatever) is the kids' tv/movie/book/toy area. 

Well, they were playing nicely - until they saw me on the treadmill. 

Hannah, my oldest daughter, wanted to take a turn on the treadmill.  I said, through my panting, that she could have a turn when I was finished.

Then the baby fired up.  Ava, my youngest daughter, just shy of 2 years old, wanted a turn too... NOW.  I stopped the treadmill and tried to explain that it was Mommy's turn and when I was finished she and Sissy could take turns.  This seemed to work.

As I resumed my workout, I watched as Ava went over to the couch, crossed her legs and tensed up.  I knew what was happening.  I just watched her stand there and moan, red-faced, until it seemed the job was done.  Then she came over to me and demanded, "POOPY!  POOPY!  OUCH!  ICKY!!"  And she didn't stop until, once again, I stopped the treadmill and took her upstairs to change her.

She seemed happy again for about 2 minutes until she came over to me, back again in a full run, whining.  And whining.  And whining.  Then whining turned into crying and crying to screeching.  I told her to go upstairs and wait for mommy.  I only had 10 minutes left!

Then I remembered that I didn't want to be that mom again (see previous post), so I thought, instead of running at my usual leisurely 5mph at no incline, I'd kick it up a notch.

So I took the incline up to 5 and turned the speed up to 6mph, which, for this girl, is almost a sprint.

It felt so good!

I ran and ran and ran and ran until I couldn't run anymore, and I was completely drenched in sweat.  But I was no longer irritated.  I cleared my mind and just... started running.

I loved every second of it.

It must have felt good to my body too because I sweat like I didn't think was possible to sweat, and my skin has that feeling similar to when you're out in the cold too long and you step into the warm house or wash your cold hands and they burn and tingle.  It's so weird!

I can't wait to do it again tomorrow...

Take Another Step

I started wearing a pedometer every day.

Today since I woke up, I have taken 10,598 steps.  That doesn't seem like enough.

This pedometer measures total steps taken, aerobic steps taken, calories burned and fat grams burned. 

It's pretty cool.

Except it doesn't tell the whole story.

I wish it could count the time I stand and clean the kitchen.

I wish it could count all of the dirty diapers I've changed...  we won't get into that again.

I wish it could count the countless trips I've made from the basement to the woods with a wheelbarrow to load wood into our indoor woodstove...

I'm currently working toward a goal to lose 50 lbs of "baby weight".  It's not really baby weight, although I did gain it all from my two pregnancies, and never lost it.  It should be called "lazy and made poor choices while pregnant" weight.  But that's okay.

Either way, I need to lost 50 pounds.  I'm in week 3 - week 1 I lost 2.5 lbs, last week I lost 6.5 lbs.  My weigh-in day is Friday, so I don't know how I'm doing this week.  But today, I busted my you-know-what.  I had the time (or, I made the time) and I did it.

I did 2 miles on the treadmill (it said I burned 400 calories), I did 50 minutes of Biggest Loser Yoga (it's not "pleasureable" yoga - it's lead by Bob Harper and he's a butt-kicker), I burned 250 calories playing Wii Fit Plus.

Tomorrow I have Zumba.  If you know anything about Zumba, whether you've tried it or know someone who has, you know that speaks for itself!  Can you say 1,000 calories burned in an hour?!?!

So, I'm wearing my trusty pedometer and logging the steps I take in the computer.  It actually downloads the information into a neat graph for me.  I don't know why.  Between the pedometer I wear on my hip and the inner pedometer in my brain, I know I'm doing my best.  I am making good choices with food, and I'm definitely working out.

So, tomorrow I will wake up and do it all over again.  I'll remember my goals, remind myself that I'm worth it.  I've struggled to feel worth it.  In this case, it's mind over matter.  My mind knows that I'm worth it, even if my feelings don't believe it.  Fake it till I make it, right?

I'm not looking for happiness, although I will be happier when I lose at least some of this weight.  I'm looking for health, and to be a better, more active mom to my girls.  My short term goal is to be down 25 lbs by my 30th birthday - in 7 weeks.

So I'll get up and take another step.

And another...

And another...

And another...