Proud Day

This past week was filled with emotions.

Thursday, in particular, was filled with tremendous pride.

It was Hannah's Kindergarten Graduation.  Her teacher had a ceremony planned complete with a skit, skills and a Kindergarten growth book - pictures, writings, and accomplishments from beginning to end.

It. Was. Amazing.

Ava and I were the first to arrive.  I got the times mixed up and showed up 25 minutes early.  So, we sat in our seat in the front row and waited.

Hannah's teacher had chairs set up in rows, filling the classroom.

When everyone else arrived, there were more parents, grandparents and siblings than we had chairs. The overflow was sitting on the counter under the windows, and all the way to the back of the room.

As the room fell silent, Pomp and Circumstance started playing. One by one, the girls made their way into the classroom, filing up the middle of the crowd.

They were in line alphabetically, and Hannah was nearer the end.  When I saw her walk down that aisle, beautiful long blonde hair, one small braid on the right side, beautiful black sequin shirt and the BEAMING smile as she searched out her Mommy and Sissy... my guts froze up and the heat hit my face.  I felt tears welling up, and to save embarrassment to Hannah, I choked them back.

As the program went along, the girls did a skit, each one having her own role.

Hannah's role in the skit, of course, consisted of a flower, and READING.

The girl LOVES to read.

That's an understatement.

After the skit concluded, it was time to hand out the diplomas.  Yes, I am still talking about Kindergarten.

This was Hannah when she received her diploma:

She keeps telling me she can't wait to drive a car.


And get married.


And have children of her own.


... She reminds me SO much of myself.


I realize there isn't much I can do to slow this down, or convince her that all of those things will come in time and season.


So I thought instead that I would embrace this moment, put it in a bottle and take the lid off once in a while to remember this time that she is so innocent, perfect, young and precious.


That's the best I can do.

And steer her in the right way.


I will try to remind her to focus on what is here and now.  Her sports, her friends, her grades.


Her ONLY jobs right now are to be a kid, get good grades, and have a GREAT time doing it.


The rest will fall into place.


But I remember being so young and wanting so much more.


I get it.  


For now, I'm going to remember these things:

Do you see these girls sitting in a group, holding their diplomas?  At this point in the ceremony, I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore.


I was sitting there with tears streaming down my face.


I kept wiping them away, hoping another wouldn't fall for fear that I would embarrass Hannah.


Not so much.


I had been in her classroom throughout the school year to give presentations to the class.  All of those girls know me.  And Ava - she always comes along too!


So, when they saw tears streaming down my face, uncontrollably (I was not sobbing, or making a scene), I noticed the girls were nudging Hannah.  I could hear their whispers, "Hannah! Your Mom is crying!"


The next thing I knew, Hannah shot me "the look".


I looked her in the eye and mouthed the words, "I'm sorry", followed by a wink and smile.


She responded with a thumbs up.


She knows her Mama!


Afterward, I crouched down and told her how PROUD I am of her - that she is my whole heart.


She explained to me that she knew my tears were happy tears and it was okay.  She said the other girls just love me so much and they don't know me like she does so she had to explain to them that her Mama cries when she's happy too!


I almost started up again, and told myself to BUCK UP!


I gave her a hug and sent her back to hug her friends.


The girls' teacher had a surprise field trip to the ice cream shop afterward to reward them for all of their hard work throughout the year.


We walked to the ice cream shop, ate ice cream together and went home.

Isn't she stunning?


And she loves her baby sister.  So much.


To sum it up, I have seen recitals, first steps, first words and a TON of other milestones in her life.


Nothing could prepare me for Kindergarten Graduation.


If I blink, I'll be sitting at her High School Graduation.


There was a time when I couldn't wait for her to enter the next "phase"... Just because I knew what life can bring and I was hoping she could skip all of the crud in the middle.  

The crud builds character and strength.  The crud helps her see a clear path for her life. 

The crud brings success.


I will be here, blubbering and all, through everything.  The crud. The friends. The diplomas.


Everything.


I can't wait to share every single one of these moments with her.


And then again with her sissy.


I am truly blessed.