Friday January 27, 2012
I have some friends. Different kinds of friends, but a lot of people I would call friends.
I have friends that don't live in the same state as me, I have friends that I see only once or twice a year. I have very close friends, and I have friends that are more acquaintances, but friends nonetheless. I have friends I play sports with, and friends I work out with. Friends I blog with, and friends I wish would read my blog (he he).
To me, calling someone a friend doesn't mean you talk every day. It doesn't mean you see each other on a regular basis. It doesn't mean you tell everyone your deepest darkest secrets.
We know who we can trust with our secrets. We know who we can call in the middle of the night. We know who will take us out for drinks when life sucks, and when life is really good and we need to celebrate. We know who will drive us to the emergency room and sit with us for hours. We know who to call when the kids want to get together. And we know who we can call for the hard-to-hear advice, and who to call for the easy-on-the-ears advice.
I think some friends serve a purpose, and some friendships are cyclical. Some friends are only friends for a time. Some are friends for life. Sometimes, people come into our lives to teach us something, or to help us through something. And then they're gone.
That doesn't mean they're no longer our friend. That doesn't mean we have to stop speaking. The dynamics of life change so often and so quickly. Sometimes we don't get to choose how a relationship ends. We have to ask ourselves if we learned a lesson and were we able to pull up our bootstraps and move on?
There's no healthy reason to try to hang on to a friendship that has run its course. I learned a long time ago that if you feel like you owe someone something, and that's the sole purpose of staying friends, then you really aren't friends. Friends don't owe and they don't keep track of bonus points. Don't hang on to something that is unhealthy or dysfunctional because the risk of hurt is too great.
The lifers, well they're with us for life. I have a friend that I've known since I was 7 years old. We were inseparable. And then we went our own way for a while. And then we were inseparable. And then I moved away. And 9 years after the last time I saw her, we met again and picked up right where we left off. Lifer.
Another friend of mine was like a sister to me for many years. We met when I had just moved to a new town and we were both going through some very rough times with our families. Life has taken us in different directions a little bit, and a few states in between, but when we see each other, we're still like family.
I love my friends. I love the variety of the friends I have. They are so diverse and so unique.
I have a friend who is loud, fun, beautiful, awesomely obnoxious and one of the best advice givers I've ever known. Intuitive is an understatement. Did I mention she's a party animal? Her friendship has breathed new life into mine.
I have a friend who is sensitive, caring, beautiful, funny, and smart as all get out. She's an amazing mother, and a very loyal friend.
My friend that I call for advice, the hard-to-hear kind, she's irreplaceable. She's also beautiful (Geez, I have lots of beautiful friends), and a shining beacon of positive influence and inspiration.
I also have a friend who's GREAT at everything she does. Another friend who is a relentless optimist. Another who is an amazing cook. Another who is the mother of 4 boys! (That in itself is an amazing feat)!
The list goes on. I don't envy my friends for their amazing attributes - I embrace them! I enjoy them! I can't be just like everyone else - how boring would that be? But I can be who I am, and hopefully find a few people along the way who like the spices I bring to life.
I am proud to call you my friends, and I am honored that you think of me as yours.
