Wednesday, March 7, 2012

If I Never Have Another Evening Like This One... (64/366)

Wednesday March 7, 2012

...it will be too soon.

Let me start off by saying that the last two days have been crazy for me!  NOT my normal routine - at all.

My husband has been home sick, in bed, for 2 days.  He left for work Monday morning and made his way out the door by stopping at each bathroom on the way to vomit.  I later found out that it wasn't the stomach flu, but he was gagging on mucous... ew.

He finally made it to the doctor this morning and was diagnosed with bronchitis and severe sinus infection.

Yesterday, I made homemade chicken noodle soup.  It's what we do in our family.  When someone is sick, someone else makes soup.  It is medication in itself.  I spent hours on my feet cutting up fresh, organic vegetables.  I made the broth when I cooked the chicken.  Then it simmered on the stove for about 3 hours before I added the whole grain noodles.  It was phenominal, for a chicken soup anyway.  My husband was famished and had spent every available moment sleeping.  So, he was very grateful!

Today was a little better for him.  He actually showered before he went to the doctor, and sat up for a bit when he got home and talked to Ava and me.

I spent today making food for him, playing with Ava (she knew her Daddy was sick in the other room and was sad that she couldn't snuggle with him), cleaning up, doing laundry and disinfecting.

When Ava went down for her nap, so did I. I slept so hard - you know when you dream and it feels so real that you can't tell if you're actually dreaming?  You wake to find yourself doing in person things that you were doing in your dream... hard to explain, but I slept HARD.

Hannah got home from school, dropped her backpack and started crying.  She said her ear hurt.  It was 4:20 in the afternoon.  Hannah doesn't complain, so when she says she doesn't feel good, it's usually a doctor visit.  I knew the doctor's office was closed at this time of day and closed tomorrow, but I know the direct backline number... I have been with my doctor for 16 years, and my family has followed me there.  We don't ever abuse this privilege.  So I called and asked if they could stay late to see Hannah this afternoon.  They called me back at 5:00 and told me to leave right then and he would see her.

So, I asked Matt if he felt up to keeping Ava here.  He said he would try and that he could come out to the couch and watch a movie with her or something.  She didn't want anything to do with that!  She wanted to go to the doctor with Mommy & Sissy.

The three of us got to the doctor and were in & out out by 6:30.  Hannah has an ear infection and severe allergy sinusitis.  We walked down to the pharmacy (in the same building), where we were told there was a 30 minute wait for scripts, and they close at 7:00. I fired back with, "Ok, we'll be here waiting until they're ready."  Meaning - I'm not leaving here without my scripts pal...

And wait we did.  Paitent after patient, their "new" computer system failed them. People's insurance wasn't going through, their names weren't right, the pharmacy didn't have the script or it was never called in, you name it!  Those people left disappointed and without their scripts.

At 7:15, they finally started asking me questions about my insurance, and the spelling of my last name.  Then they started filling her scripts.  By 7:45 (and mind you, they close at 7:00, they were not waiting on any other customers at this point, and hadn't been since about 6:50), I went to the counter and asked if I could just pay retail for my scripts and send the claim to my insurance myself.  I was told that they were almost finished, but they weren't even filled yet!

Meanwhile, the girls are beyond starving, they're tired, Hannah doesn't feel good, Ava is restless, they're arguing over my iPhone (which almost has a dead battery), I forgot their iPod touches, they're running around the pharmacy/gift shop playing with the toys, I'm falling asleep in the chair - it was a trainwreck!  My anxiety is going through the roof, I'm doing my breathing exercises (yes, I do those, and yes, they help).

Then one of the girls had to go to the bathroom.

As soon as we returned, the other had to go poop.

I was maxed out.

We got out of there at 8:00.  I took the girls to McDonald's (tsk, tsk) and we sped home.  I kept thinking of all the things we needed to do when we got home - jammies, brush teeth, school clothes, dance clothes, blah, blah, blah!

I walked in the door at 8:20 and Matt took one look at me... gave me a hug and asked what he could do to help.  They were in bed by 8:35.

Today, even though I can't really feel it right now, I am thankful for being needed.  My family has needed me more than ever these last few days, and I. AM. EXHAUSTED.  But you just keep going!  And going... and going...  I would feel so lonely and unloved if I weren't ever needed.  It's a great thing to feel needed, and know that you are needed.

I'm hoping things settle down soon - I like it quiet, I like a routine, and I like for my family to be healthy!! But this is life!  This is the life of a mom!  I look at some of my friends who have 2 or 3 times more kids than I do - they stay at home, homeschool, carpool, playdates, you name it!  I don't envy them - I learn from them, I love them!  My life is so totally different - and perfect just for me.  Like I've said before, I believe God gave me this life because he knows it's just enough, and when the pressure is on and things get crazy, He equips me with the equivalent of super-human powers.  There's really no other explaination for it, because on a normal day, I never imagined I could make it through an evening like tonight.

You just... do.

Praise God for tonight!  Without Him, I couldn't have done it alone.